Twisted thinking, a sense of evil, and healing.

[Depression = 72% of members]

As folks are healing from their experiences in a r/s with a pwBPD, it is really hard.  We've had really hurtful, even abusive things occur, and processing it all and our role in leads to a whole host of feelings.  I am sometimes surprised at how long folks hod on to the idea that their ex's are evil.  Folks who haven't dated pwBPD do that too, and I think it serves a purpose, but if our goal is to really heal, doesn't it require a more honest look and label?

Oceanheart, a former member, recovered from BPD talks about twisted thinking here:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=67059.0;wap2

I wonder where we have our own twisted thinking to get through the trauma of our r/s, where we can move to a more truthful accepting "them" and "us". 

[Elsegundo]

As folks are healing from their experiences in a r/s with a pwBPD, it is really hard.  We've had really hurtful, even abusive things occur, and processing it all and our role in leads to a whole host of feelings.  I am sometimes surprised at how long folks hod on to the idea that their ex's are evil.  Folks who haven't dated pwBPD do that too, and I think it serves a purpose, but if our goal is to really heal, doesn't it require a more honest look and label?

Oceanheart, a former member, recovered from BPD talks about twisted thinking here:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=67059.0;wap2

I wonder where we have our own twisted thinking to get through the trauma of our r/s, where we can move to a more truthful accepting "them" and "us". 

[Vegasskydiver]

The list of typical BPD beliefs includes ... .  "I cannot be alone".  My exBPDbf was diagnosed.  His mantra is that he doesn't need anyone and that he is happiest when he is not in a romantic relationship.  he claims that relationships are what cause him to be miserable and that he is "normal" when he is by himself.  He doesn't seem to be afraid to be alone and in fact relishes in it.  He has also made statesments that the only time he really feels at peace is when I am laying next to him in bed.  Is that part of their conflict?  I noticed whenever we had a perfect weekend with lots of love and sharing of great times, he would go into one of his rages on Monday after work saying ... .  "I can't do this anymore" and that he couldn't control the thought in his head that I was talking to some other guy... .  he even went so far as to hack into my computer and phone.  He justified this by saying, that he needed to know for sure that I wasn't lying to him... .  I surely don't miss that insanity!