Update...

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So, I contacted her mother.  I don't want to be overly specific, as I think her mom may find her way here.

Her mom, before I said ANYTHING, told me she thinks L has BPD.  I was floored.  You could have picked my jaw up off of the floor.  It just reinforced to me that it's true and L has a actual, legitimate disease.  And, rather than wanting to run further away, it made me want to help her even more.  It made my heart hurt for her - knowing she has a mental illness and no one is able to help her.  I'm very sad for her.

I found out some things, things that matter to me but I'm not willing to just put out there on a forum, that made me realize she and I can never be.  It hurts.  It hurts a lot. 

[crashintome]

So, I contacted her mother.  I don't want to be overly specific, as I think her mom may find her way here.

Her mom, before I said ANYTHING, told me she thinks L has BPD.  I was floored.  You could have picked my jaw up off of the floor.  It just reinforced to me that it's true and L has a actual, legitimate disease.  And, rather than wanting to run further away, it made me want to help her even more.  It made my heart hurt for her - knowing she has a mental illness and no one is able to help her.  I'm very sad for her.

I found out some things, things that matter to me but I'm not willing to just put out there on a forum, that made me realize she and I can never be.  It hurts.  It hurts a lot. 

[blecker]

I'm sorry it hurts but I believe the hurt you feel now pales to what hurt you would feel later.

Let her find the help she needs.