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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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ScotisGone74
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 432


« on: March 03, 2013, 05:38:58 PM »

When I first met my exBPD SO her ex husband was apparently evil satan to her, over the course of two years he somehow turned back into a nice guy that she was going to get to pet sit or house sit for her.  Honestly I think that this guy was smart enough to never speak to her again after what she did to him.  Now I am the evil one to her apparently.  I have no clue what lies she has told her family about what I supposedly did, but I'm at peace with no contact with her now and forever more, I've blocked everything she could contact me with.   I just have a funny feeling that in a year or two I will magically turn into a good guy again.  I read other people's posts on here that say their BPD SO's do this same thing only for a few weeks or few months.  I think honestly that would be even worse to waiver constantly back and forth like that.  I will totally give less than a damn if or when mine turns me back into a "Good" person in another year or two.  I would love to hear everyone else's splitting experiences. 
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mango_flower
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 704


« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2013, 05:55:27 PM »

My experience is different - I am not sure I was painted black?  She said all the right things, as in "I don't hate you, I'm sad we didn't work, I just thought you didn't love me" and she has stayed in touch.

However, I have a sneaky suspicion that she is playing the victim to her new gf and her new friends about big, bad me.

We will see.
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