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Experts share their discoveries [video]
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Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
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Author Topic: If you Really Loved Me...  (Read 371 times)
ScotisGone74
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 432


« on: March 04, 2013, 08:21:23 AM »

My ExBPD SO used this line a bunch, and as long as we were together it always seemed to get worse and more demanding.  If you Really Loved Me ... .  you'd not go to that practice for your kid, you'd be with me,      or   You'd know you were not supposed to have any friends here at work besides me, even though I flirt with alot of people    or  You would have gotten me something Much Better for my birthday or had a better party.  She also used the "I'm Never Good Enough" line, where if I spent time to do  anything to better myself, helped my kid, or spent time doing anything besides being at her beck and call it upset her she would pull that one out.  At first being on the receiving end of these lines you get the feeling that this BPD person really loves you, when in fact they are just merely tests to see how much crap they can dump on top of and what you'll take.  After they have several "tests" they know when they can unleash their full wrath upon you, and they know you'll take most of it because you actually love them.   BPD is a hell of a sickness. 

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Rose Tiger
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 2075



« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2013, 09:59:48 AM »

I hung in there because I wanted my marriage to work and I thought I could fix it.  I got hooked into the intermittent reinforcement.  I was solidly trauma bonded.  Until truth was so obvious and in my face, I couldn't deny it anymore.  This man was dangrous and I was in serious danger.  Emotional abuse can be rationalized, oh he had a bad day, oh I shouldn't of said that, blah blah blah.  It is true that it builds over time and gets worse.
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lockedout
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: separated since 1/13
Posts: 259


« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2013, 12:17:49 PM »

I got all of that too "me and your son just aren't important... .  ". Reading the Sunday paper was one of my few guilty pleasures. I had to listen to this from the time I used to sit down and enjoy it, to grabbing quick glances at it when she wasn't looking to stopping entirely and making it known to her that I'd stopped reading it entirely. Didn't do a bit of good.
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