Kicked him out of my house and it's finally over for the 100th time

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Well I can't rehash the three years of utter misery with my ex. I've posted some things here and i''m embarassed to say I took this guy back. There have been so many horrid things that happened that when I think back at it I am SHOCKED and disappointed in myself that I let this person continually disrespect my boundaries, lie to me, manipulate me, treat me like crap, give me silent treatments, discard me, etc and then have me pathetically take him back each and every time. I finally got to my breaking point. Friday night I kicked him out of my home over a simple argument. I had reached my limit after so much had built up for so many years. Lately I had found myself acting just as poorly as him, the name calling, the yelling, etc. I didn't even like myself. I kicked him out after catching him lying again for taking drugs, trying to hide it by deleting things out of his phone and some other things. The thing is that I kicked him out when he didn't have a car at my house, in single degree temps, and didn't even care how he would find a ride home. That is so not the person that I am but I finally had it. I reached my bottom.

Weird thing is that his dog was here which I love so I wasn't going to make him take her out in the cold so he left her here. He never even bothered to come get her for 3 days so I finally had to reach out to HIM and ask when he planned on getting his dog. I told him I didn't want him anywhere near my home (he had my house keys), I changed my door locks and told him he would need to have a friend pick up his dog and his few belongings left here. So he did.

In the bag I wrote a last letter to him, then blocked all his calls, texts, etc. I know I will have weak moments but at this point I almost feel like I have PTSD when I think of all the horrid sh—t I put up with. I’ve NEVER come close to putting up with a person like him. I’m still trying to figure out why. This site helps. This is the letter I sent to him (this is after being treated like utter garbage over Xmas and Valentines Day when he bought me a $20 plastic necklace, meanwhile spending hundreds on himself for partying)……I’m sure he’s so sick and twisted in the head, it probably didn’t even phase him but it felt so good to get it out. I wanted him to know how disgusting of a human being he is and how crappy he treats others. I’m sure he’ll never get it and never change and I’m just glad I’m out of the web of insanity. Thank God for that. I guess I wanted to pay him back by letting him know how little he means to me after all the crap he put me through. Thanks for letting me rant. He’s gone. He’s blocked and I will no longer let this person or anyone else EVER treat me with as much disrespect as this person did…….


You can have your necklace back. Quite frankly, it was an insulting gift for many reasons, some of which you’ll never know or understand and it didn’t even deserve a place in my trash can. Anyone who spends 10 X the amount of money on drugs vs. their girlfriend’s gift is selfish. I think you’re somewhat intelligent enough to figure out Friday was worth more than what was in your phone. Not worth anymore of my time explaining. The fact I could wake up Saturday and not even feel remorse or guilt for kicking you out without a car in single digit temps was enough to prove to myself most of what I felt for you at one point had to be dead and gone. You can only chip away at someone until they feel nothing but disgust for you as a human being.

It’s not worth my time explaining to you what I feel because deep down you already know what you are and what you’ve become. Being around you for this many years and being surrounded by the toxicity has been like dying a slow death and I’m thankful you are gone this time for a change. You are not someone who should have ever been given a chance to be in my life from  the start.

Not all, but most of the time I’ve been around you, all you’ve proven to be is a liar, toxic, completely self-absorbed, a TAKER, manipulative, shallow and passive aggressively controlling. I see my part in it all and I will be just as disgusted in myself for actually allowing myself to stoop to lower levels I’ve never stooped and especially for allowing someone so dark and toxic into my home with my child. However, I don’t feel an ounce of guilt for the horrid things I said to you, especially this last few months. In my eyes, you deserved every bit of what you got, if not more, for your piss poor behavior not only as a boyfriend, but a human being in general.

You took way more than you ever came close to giving and you began to suck the life out of me again but you will never succeed in destroying me. I look forward to ending this dark chapter of my life. Like I said in my email, I feel calmer now. I can’t even feel anger anymore. All I feel for you at this moment is pure disgust and indifference to what happens to you.

Do what you wish with the necklace. Hang it up next to the Xmas present. Call me a btch for returning it. I truly just don’t care anymore. It all just goes to show how little value you place on others vs. yourself.

[feelingcrazy7832]

Well I can't rehash the three years of utter misery with my ex. I've posted some things here and i''m embarassed to say I took this guy back. There have been so many horrid things that happened that when I think back at it I am SHOCKED and disappointed in myself that I let this person continually disrespect my boundaries, lie to me, manipulate me, treat me like crap, give me silent treatments, discard me, etc and then have me pathetically take him back each and every time. I finally got to my breaking point. Friday night I kicked him out of my home over a simple argument. I had reached my limit after so much had built up for so many years. Lately I had found myself acting just as poorly as him, the name calling, the yelling, etc. I didn't even like myself. I kicked him out after catching him lying again for taking drugs, trying to hide it by deleting things out of his phone and some other things. The thing is that I kicked him out when he didn't have a car at my house, in single degree temps, and didn't even care how he would find a ride home. That is so not the person that I am but I finally had it. I reached my bottom.

Weird thing is that his dog was here which I love so I wasn't going to make him take her out in the cold so he left her here. He never even bothered to come get her for 3 days so I finally had to reach out to HIM and ask when he planned on getting his dog. I told him I didn't want him anywhere near my home (he had my house keys), I changed my door locks and told him he would need to have a friend pick up his dog and his few belongings left here. So he did.

In the bag I wrote a last letter to him, then blocked all his calls, texts, etc. I know I will have weak moments but at this point I almost feel like I have PTSD when I think of all the horrid sh—t I put up with. I’ve NEVER come close to putting up with a person like him. I’m still trying to figure out why. This site helps. This is the letter I sent to him (this is after being treated like utter garbage over Xmas and Valentines Day when he bought me a $20 plastic necklace, meanwhile spending hundreds on himself for partying)……I’m sure he’s so sick and twisted in the head, it probably didn’t even phase him but it felt so good to get it out. I wanted him to know how disgusting of a human being he is and how crappy he treats others. I’m sure he’ll never get it and never change and I’m just glad I’m out of the web of insanity. Thank God for that. I guess I wanted to pay him back by letting him know how little he means to me after all the crap he put me through. Thanks for letting me rant. He’s gone. He’s blocked and I will no longer let this person or anyone else EVER treat me with as much disrespect as this person did…….


You can have your necklace back. Quite frankly, it was an insulting gift for many reasons, some of which you’ll never know or understand and it didn’t even deserve a place in my trash can. Anyone who spends 10 X the amount of money on drugs vs. their girlfriend’s gift is selfish. I think you’re somewhat intelligent enough to figure out Friday was worth more than what was in your phone. Not worth anymore of my time explaining. The fact I could wake up Saturday and not even feel remorse or guilt for kicking you out without a car in single digit temps was enough to prove to myself most of what I felt for you at one point had to be dead and gone. You can only chip away at someone until they feel nothing but disgust for you as a human being.

It’s not worth my time explaining to you what I feel because deep down you already know what you are and what you’ve become. Being around you for this many years and being surrounded by the toxicity has been like dying a slow death and I’m thankful you are gone this time for a change. You are not someone who should have ever been given a chance to be in my life from  the start.

Not all, but most of the time I’ve been around you, all you’ve proven to be is a liar, toxic, completely self-absorbed, a TAKER, manipulative, shallow and passive aggressively controlling. I see my part in it all and I will be just as disgusted in myself for actually allowing myself to stoop to lower levels I’ve never stooped and especially for allowing someone so dark and toxic into my home with my child. However, I don’t feel an ounce of guilt for the horrid things I said to you, especially this last few months. In my eyes, you deserved every bit of what you got, if not more, for your piss poor behavior not only as a boyfriend, but a human being in general.

You took way more than you ever came close to giving and you began to suck the life out of me again but you will never succeed in destroying me. I look forward to ending this dark chapter of my life. Like I said in my email, I feel calmer now. I can’t even feel anger anymore. All I feel for you at this moment is pure disgust and indifference to what happens to you.

Do what you wish with the necklace. Hang it up next to the Xmas present. Call me a btch for returning it. I truly just don’t care anymore. It all just goes to show how little value you place on others vs. yourself.

[wuzdownandgetnbetter]

Good job !  I too was three years in a relationship that was toxic.

These people even deserve so much more than that.  I won't go into the details of mine.  Way too long and embarrassing.  Begin treated like dirt and with no respect is NOT where I want to be.