Question

[Tired of it]

The most recent episode as I have mentioned before was my ex asking me to "please stop emailing her" only for her to email me asking to hang out three weeks later.  I did and then a few days later she came around and we were intimate.  I found out she lied about not being single, and not proud to say, I informed the guy and then asked her sister what was up with her lying.  Needless to say she got pissed at me.  My question is this.  Does she know she is wrong despite her "front"?  Despite her getting mad at me for telling the truth about her deceit, do BPDs at some point during a moment when they are by themselves know that they are wrong, even if they don't admit it.  I don't care if she thinks about me or not, but is that something they would do?

[fakename]

i feel like i'm so exhausted trying to figure out what she is thinking or what her motives are behind what she does.

when i broke up with my ex, it was cause she went on a date the day after she came begging back to me to get together again. she doesnt know i have proof she went on the date, and so kept lying about it. the next morning she sent me an email continuing her lie and saying we cant work because i dont trust her and my wounds are too deep (she cheated on me in the past)... .  

its pointless to waste any more of my energy trying to figure out or rationalize her actions. its sucking the life out of me. i'll never have the answer. but i can suspect that all her motives are completely selfish and for immediate satisfaction or cure. i would imagine they probably start believing their lies and i imagine their minds and thoughts are just so disordered and dysfunctional, it doesnt matter what is reality.  they always have to be right, and they are always the victim

[ScotisGone74]

From what I have seen I believe they actually do know what they are doing and what is right and wrong, but they have a reason to 'justify' why they did it.  This is where the blaming, refusing to take responsibility, manipulation, lies all come in,  they believe they have been somehow wronged or intentionally hurt so they have a reason to do all this.  I have considered this myself and this is just the theory that I have came up with.   Like a good friend of mine told me several months back, "if you try to understand crazy, you'll go crazy yourself". 

[Tired of it]

Heck yeah ScotisGone74.  I can testify to that as I was told by a girl I used to talk to a long time ago that I ran into at Applebees's "the old person I know wouldn't have put up with this crap at all". 

During the time with my ex I have felt as if i'm going crazy and that is all they needed to hold me accountable as "justification".

[healingmyheart]

scotisgone74,

You are correct, they do feel wronged and take it out on their "loved" ones.

My counselor said that just being around him will start to make me "crazy".  

Hence, I'm out of here... .  let him move on to the next victim.