So now the Mum is manipulating me to?

[have gone nc]

So i had a 2hr converstaion today with my ex sobbing down the phone. I was vey calm and stuck to my boundaries but I was also kind because i have reached a point of acceptance in what happened. Things were okay but she seemed extremely hurt and it was difficult not to rescue her.

Anyway, I put the phone down and carry on with my day, The phone goes again... .  

Now its the mum just calling to "ask how i am "... .  

Then procedes to tell me that i have very strange ideas because i said that if i was married and i found out my wife was texting other men for attention that i would leave, apparently thats a silly thing to do?

Also it's not cheating if your texting other men in a sexual nature because after all it is only a text... .  ?

Although i was lied to and disrespected i need to just let it go and get back together because her daughter is very sorry and didnt mean it?

hilarious is the only word i can describe it as... .  there was much more but you get the idea!

[pallavirajsinghani]

Please stay nc.  Looks like Mom is afraid of you not being around her daughter because now she will have to take care of a disordered individual.  It appears that her Mom could be in deep FOG as perhaps you were at one point.

Please be strong.

[have gone nc]

To be honest I dont even feel the need " to go nc " because i am fully aware of everything going on around me.

I picked up on the manipulating in the first 2 minutes of the conversation. And even when talking to the ex she was constantly trying to get me to commit to stay with her. I was firm but also said some kind things about her personality. I do not wish to go back to this relationship and I know that, And with the work im doing on myself I feel I am much stronger now.

NC is very good for most people who are heartbroken and desperate but i read somewhere its kind of "abuse" giving someoen the silent treatment, and if i know my boundaries then its okay. the only way i can get sucked back in is if I ALLOW IT, nobody has the power to force you into something you dont want to do.

[GreenMango]

You make a good point about knowing your boundaries and having emotional maturity to see where you might be vulnerable and emotionally not have your eyes wide open.

No contact (time out) is great when we don't have a good bead on ourselves.  It can be communicated to the other person too.  Like we are too stressed and need a break.  Doing it haphazardly or punish can be abusive.

It's a way to get your feet underneath you if you need it, its a poor substitute for true detachment, healing and emotional growth.

[apple]

So i had a 2hr converstaion today with my ex sobbing down the phone. I was vey calm and stuck to my boundaries but I was also kind because i have reached a point of acceptance in what happened. Things were okay but she seemed extremely hurt and it was difficult not to rescue her.

Anyway, I put the phone down and carry on with my day, The phone goes again... .  

Now its the mum just calling to "ask how i am "... .  

Then procedes to tell me that i have very strange ideas because i said that if i was married and i found out my wife was texting other men for attention that i would leave, apparently thats a silly thing to do?

Also it's not cheating if your texting other men in a sexual nature because after all it is only a text... .  ?

Although i was lied to and disrespected i need to just let it go and get back together because her daughter is very sorry and didnt mean it?

hilarious is the only word i can describe it as... .  there was much more but you get the idea!

Apples don't fall far from the tree !

it's not surprising to me that her mother isn't living in reality as well.

[have gone nc]

To be honest, I genuinely dont feel the need to. My ex was not diagnosed but her mum dropped a clanger while trying to manipulate me back in. She said that she dont think its right that her doctor wrote on a piece of paper " something personality disorder? "

It blew me away! She was so busy trying to manipulate me that she forgot what she was saying... .  So in trying to help she actually messed up.

I got closure right there and then... .  

They can manipulate me all they like, it can only happen if I allow it, and im stronger than they give me credit for... .  joke