Fakename: Borderline behaviour e.g. raging, cutting, suicidal ideation, extreme moods, splitting, B&W thinking are all maladaptive coping skills caused as a direct result of childhood trauma. Its hard-wired, brain chemistry is hard-wired. This is way beyond you or I to resolve. Borderlines cannot independently process the trauma inflicted from childhood – we know this because their maladaptive coping skills, like those listed above, mask the pain.
We desperately tried to “manage” the behaviour and failed – we can never “manage” the behavior because the behavior is the symptom, not the cause. The cause occurred between the ages of 3-13 years old. It’s ingrained.
Detaching is realizing you could not cure your partner. Recovery is possible – mindfulness meditation/techniques are a part of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy or DBT (individual and group work) and the right meds (usually for mood swings/depression/anxiety). Not usually in isolation of one another.
Many of the DBT techniques are great for us too.
Why don’t you think someone can create their own regiment, support system and use things like meditation, self introspection and relevant readings to improve on their own?
For Borderlines: Introspection means to have conscious thoughts and feelings - Borderlines do not realize they do things they do – they don’t mean it. Being mindful also requires them to be present – much of the behavior lies in past trauma.
For us:
Our community here at bpdfamily is unique – we had a relationship with a Borderline. We arrive here at bpdfamily shattered beyond belief – does it happen to everyone? No! Then why us? Why you? Why me?
