BPD's and Career and Ambition

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Was curious if anyone elses S/O had some of these traits.

My ExgBPD could not find a job outside of waitressing even though she had a college degree. She claimed that it was "impossible" that anyone would hire her for the any type of respectable job. She had zero self confidence that anyone would hire her and felt as if it was "luck" if she were to ever get hired. Her attitude and outlook on getting a job that was more deserving of her great skills was very troouibling for me.  Everyt time i tried to "pump" her up or make her excited boost her cofnidence or help her it always ended negatively for me.  Has anyone else experienced this?

[trampledfoot]

Was curious if anyone elses S/O had some of these traits.

My ExgBPD could not find a job outside of waitressing even though she had a college degree. She claimed that it was "impossible" that anyone would hire her for the any type of respectable job. She had zero self confidence that anyone would hire her and felt as if it was "luck" if she were to ever get hired. Her attitude and outlook on getting a job that was more deserving of her great skills was very troouibling for me.  Everyt time i tried to "pump" her up or make her excited boost her cofnidence or help her it always ended negatively for me.  Has anyone else experienced this?

[hithere]

My ex was very high functioning and although she had problems with relationships at work she liked being good at what she did and got a lot of attention from it.  She was probably a bit NPD.

I have read lots of stories about lower functioning BPD's on this forum that were chronically unemployed.  She probably likes the attention you give her when you try and pump her up.

[trampledfoot]

I guess I dont understand why she would want the attention but then she always got  so upset and caused her to cry and become extremely emotional. On my birthday(supposedly my day doing stuff for me) out of nowhere she just started crying and we sat in the car on my brithday well she cried because she hated waitressing and wanted something better but felt it was impossible. Of course all I did was encourage her and it didnt make it any better.

[lostoc]

BPD Lesson #1.

Stop trying to understand. Your brain doesn't work the way theirs does. Their brains do not work in any rational way and can never be understood.

[wanttoknowmore]

I don't agree with the steriotype of BPD being unemployed or underemployed. Mine is a very highly skilled professional who excels in her job with occasional interpersonal problems. Gets along OK with regular ordinary friendships. Only has intense feelings when some one gets emotionally intimate.

Then she develops fear of engulfment and wants to run away feeling smothered and demanding her space.

[trampledfoot]

lostoc

I guess that is what makes this soo frustrating from a relationship staNPDoint.  All the functional folks know that in a relationship you need to understand the other person and when you cant and want to it just makes everything absolutely hoorendous.

In reading this board there are so very many different manifestations of BPD. However, I guess the core of what it seems to me in trying understand what to predict is just that all you can predict is emotional instability and black and white thinking seem to be the pervasive issues that one would need to focus.  All of the complex manifestations are simply expressions of the above?

Would that be correct?