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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Wheat Analogies  (Read 445 times)
ScarletOlive
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« on: March 11, 2013, 04:16:42 PM »

People say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I think this makes sense for small things. It's like wheat in a field, blown down by a rainstorm, but standing tall afterwards from the watering. For larger things, it seems like we are destroyed in order to make us stronger in a new way.

Through my abuse, I was torn down and crushed, and was paralyzed by the hurt of my impossible wounds. It hurt. My heart broke, my bones ached, my mind forgot, and my soul tired. It was like I was a kernel of wheat taken from a field, sliced by scythes, crushed by hands and others, and finally ground up under a millstone. The pain was long lasting and so tough. Indeed, I was destroyed. There was no way I could go back to the life I had had before. And yet... .  there was a new life in me.

Out of that bruised wheat came a fine flour. I'm flour! My essence is now pure and white, delicious and fruitful. My biology and nature is the same, while the nurturing and environment I experienced has influenced my outcome. I will never be what I was meant to be if I had stayed a perfect kernel of wheat. However, I'm on an adventure that I can't turn back. It does me no good to wish I were a wheat kernel again. All I can do is seek the ingredients to mix with myself that will make me whole... .  whole wheat bread that is. :D
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Cumulus
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« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2013, 05:59:05 PM »

Sometimes you just have to clear the field of weeds to see what grain is growing!  I do like your story.
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catsprt
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« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2013, 04:14:36 AM »

Fine analogy. I particularly like the conclusion with an end product that sounds the same but is as we know of different composition. Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
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waitaminute
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« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2013, 07:19:18 AM »

good metaphore. i will try to see past the crushing millstone, towards a "flour" day.
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