Miss her and her children's friendship

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I dated a woman with BPD off and on for about a year. We lived together as a couple for the last few months of our relationship. I thought we had a pretty good relationship as friends but each time we tried as a couple things didn't work out. She broke up with me each time. I agreed things weren't working but I was willing to try and work more on the relationship but she was set on ending it even saying she didn't want to remain friends. She has two children which I adore and think the world of. I never had kids of my own and I love them as if they were my own. I feel a deep since of loss now from not being able to see them or know how they are doing.

Now I have things going on in my life like dating and being involved in a lot of activities but I still miss her and her kids. To me we often had good times as friends and sometimes as a couple. I was hopeful after some time had passed she would want to just be friends again and since we seemed to do alright as just friends previously. And since I know more about BPD now.

We had briefly exchanged some text messages with her recently about a letter I received at my home addressed to her. We texted about it and at that time I inquired as to how her and the kids were doing. I was hopeful that this would be an opening to get our friendship back. She was friendly but never responded to the inquiries as to how she and the kids were doing. So I am reluctant to reach out to her.

Has anyone else had a similar situation? Should I continue to just leave the friendship ball in her court unless she contacts me?         



   

[clvoregon]

I dated a woman with BPD off and on for about a year. We lived together as a couple for the last few months of our relationship. I thought we had a pretty good relationship as friends but each time we tried as a couple things didn't work out. She broke up with me each time. I agreed things weren't working but I was willing to try and work more on the relationship but she was set on ending it even saying she didn't want to remain friends. She has two children which I adore and think the world of. I never had kids of my own and I love them as if they were my own. I feel a deep since of loss now from not being able to see them or know how they are doing.

Now I have things going on in my life like dating and being involved in a lot of activities but I still miss her and her kids. To me we often had good times as friends and sometimes as a couple. I was hopeful after some time had passed she would want to just be friends again and since we seemed to do alright as just friends previously. And since I know more about BPD now.

We had briefly exchanged some text messages with her recently about a letter I received at my home addressed to her. We texted about it and at that time I inquired as to how her and the kids were doing. I was hopeful that this would be an opening to get our friendship back. She was friendly but never responded to the inquiries as to how she and the kids were doing. So I am reluctant to reach out to her.

Has anyone else had a similar situation? Should I continue to just leave the friendship ball in her court unless she contacts me?         



   

[Clearmind]

 

It may have been easier for her to sever ties rather than relive her shame/inner pain – this is not your fault. For her this yet another reminder how worthless she feels.

Loss of relationship is painful clvoregon – I agree – what is your gut telling about reaching out?

What do you want happen?