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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: Just a silly question...  (Read 516 times)
jaird
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« on: March 21, 2013, 08:42:44 AM »

... .  this has no real objective meaning, but I am just wondering if anyone else experienced this:

My ex had eyes like a shark, dead. Or more correctly, like a Barbie doll. It took me moths to notice this, but it was quite visible in photographs of her.

I'm just wondering if this is a common trait.
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mitchell16
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« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2013, 08:47:34 AM »

I never noticed it in mine until the end. When she had her last drunken rage I remember looking at her eyes and it was like they were dead, no life or emotions in them.
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healingmyheart
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« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2013, 08:48:34 AM »

Yes, I can relate. I first noticed the eye thing when my ex would rage.  He seemed to almost go into a trance and his eyes would almost flicker back and forth.  It was almost like he became possessed.

But looking back at pictures now, I see the "dead eye" look that you are speaking of.  
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MakeItHappen
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« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2013, 08:54:38 AM »

Interesting, not silly.

My exBPD has eyes that can kill. Glaring, intense, thinking, she sees right through you... .  

I was attracted to it at first but then noticed it was actually a turn off.
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Sharkey167
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« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2013, 08:59:04 AM »

Only when disassociating. Otherwise she had pretty eyes. But when the switch turned off it was autopilot zombie mode.
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mitchell16
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« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2013, 09:09:47 AM »

yes i would say it was she was disassociating. she was shutting down. In our last face to face together. She got drunk, starting raging because I wouldnt give her the car keys. She then went completely crazy and starting screaming at me and calling me names. I was asking her want had i done and she just sat there with a blank, lifeless look in her and on her face. She would never answer me or explain. nothing just a blank expression. In two years I had never seen that look with her but maybe I just didnt notice at other times. This is a very interesting post. I had never really thought about it unit now. But I do remeber that night thinking she has shut down completely.
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jaird
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« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2013, 09:17:50 AM »

I'm glad people can relate to this. I guess mine had the disassociating look. She actually had very nice eyes, and in person, when she was happy, and even in pictures with me when she was happy, and she was always happy with me, her eyes were fine.

I noticed it more on her FB pictures. Pictures of her alone or with friends. And it was not every picture, but it struck me how different her eyes could look at times-with me, happy and confident, other pictures-like nervous or dead eyed.
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Vegasskydiver
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« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2013, 10:05:04 AM »

... .  this has no real objective meaning, but I am just wondering if anyone else experienced this:

My ex had eyes like a shark, dead. Or more correctly, like a Barbie doll. It took me moths to notice this, but it was quite visible in photographs of her.

I'm just wondering if this is a common trait.

Yes... .  I noticed this with my exBPDbf.  It was almost as he was looking through me with a cold stare.   Another silly question ... .  when my ex was inthe "clinger" phase he would talk in baby talk.  It would drive me crazy.  It just didn't match him.  He is 6'3" and closely resembles Stone Cold Steve Austin, the MMA fighter.  It lasted several months and then just stopped.  I was curious if anyone else noticed this? Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
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dharmagems
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Relationship status: divorcing
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« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2013, 10:29:10 AM »

My exhBPD would also talk in baby talk to cling.  This is when I would treat him back like a baby and I liked it.  I have no children of my own.  Then when he is raging/blaming/controlling his eyes were blank.  Then when he is in the other happy/clingy moods his facial expression would be "happy" but with no emotions behind it and unflinching, kind of like the overly attached girlfriend.  I think it's like their identity and expression isn't their own and they've learned to mimic and manipulate and mirror to survive.
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afterdeath
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Relationship status: single...4 months post bpdex
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« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2013, 12:58:29 PM »

I can relate, she had beautiful eyes

Yet, she would look like she was looking off into space, three pictures come to mind where it's like she doesn't know where the camera is and others where she looks like she wants to devour me with the way she's looking at me.

Her eyes alone can make her look like a totally different person, sweet and innocent with me, manipulative and trashy and lost without.

The eyes are where it's at.
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jaird
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« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2013, 05:24:40 PM »

I guess indeed the eyes are where it's at.

I just found it striking that her eyes varied so much, from happy and shining when we were together somewhere, to that dead eyed look I had seen in so many of her other pictures.

My ex didn't really do baby talk, but she did say some strange things from time to time. She would call me "baby doll" sometimes, not all that weird, a term of affection I guess. But a few times she called me "dolly". I thought that nickname was strange. I remember thinking ":)olly? What the heck?" LOL
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