BPD threats.

[mitchell16]

one my last face to face with my exBPDgf she became drunk and  out of control. she demand I let her drive drunk and when i wouldnt she became very verbally abusive. needless to say she told me to leaver her home and she never wanted to see me again. that she was done. I said good and left. while driving home which is over an hour away. I get a text saying she has fellland hurt her head. I didnt repond. The next day I tetxe dto check on her and she said she fell (in text message) but that she was fine and she wanst us to go our seperate ways. I tell her I love but Ok then. We dont have any contact for 3 weeks. Then the oyer night she startes tetxing me I dont respond. I get horrible raging vm calling all kind of names and she is very very drunk.  nasty text message continue and then she tell me that she is going to tell her freinds nad family how her head really got her and taht she wasnt going to lie anymore. Of course I didnt respond that either. She then went on and on hyow this was her last contact and I wouldnt be eharing from her ever again. Then next moring i get an aplgy tetx saying she was drunka and didnt mean anything she said. My question I have a job the is very sensitive and I dont need any bs made up on me. In some of yoru experiences was this jsut and emty threat and to get me to answer becasue nothing else worked or what. She knows I didnt do anything to her and I wasnt even there when she fell. its all lies. and since seh got this rage out her system does this seem like she is done. with the bS contact now.

[sunrising]

I don't think you can count on this being the last you hear from her.  I haven't been in a situation as volatile as yours seems, but my recommendation would be: DO NOT RESPOND.  Especially if you feel like she is capable of making up lies to make you look bad (smear campaign), any response you give her will provide her with ways to do this.  I wouldn't even respond to defend myself in your situation. 

[mitchell16]

no I dont intend to. she had never been this violent in her raging and actions. She has been out of control before but I dont think its ever been this bad. When was calling it was so obvious she drunk it was terrible. Her drinkning in increasing. we have alwasy been social drinkers ( couple drinks on the weekend or a bottle wine on a saturday night) but she has never been like this. I really dont know what is going thru her mind. I dont intend on asnwer her. I was jsut trying to figure out was this just some sort of intemitaiton to get me to answer the phone. Just desparation becuase she sounded very desperate. before she was always deperate pitfull, I love you so much, or miss you, or i cant live with out you. This was like raging hate.

[motherof1yearold]

BPD threats are usually empty threats, so I agree with other poster about not engaging and ignoring absolutely everything with the exception that she texts you saying she is going to kill herself - then call police - but do not text or answer calls from her.

I am assuming when she says she will "tell the truth" about what really happened to her head, that she did it to herself? Perhaps banged her head against a wall in a drunken rage ?

Her drinking seems to be a huge factor with the entire BPD problem, only amplifying bad decisions.

Good luck

[GreenMango]

Mitchell she sounds like an alcoholic.  This is nasty business when a person gets to this point.

Have you tried alanon?  Its supposed to help untwist this dynamic a bit.

[mitchell16]

No I havent tried alnon. The alchol drinking with her has never been a real problem that i have be aware of its something that just started, we have always been what I call social drinkers. like i said couple of drinks on the week or a bottle of wine or two on a saturday night.

Im not sure what she did to her head. she said she fell after I left. I know when I was there she was getting underessed into bed screaming at me that she was done with me, therapy and that i should leave. so I left.

The thing about telling the truth I felt was just a remark to get me to answer thephone out of fear that she was going to make up some false allegation againts me so in her mind it would make me answer the phone, but I didnt. I could hear the frustration in her voice and hear it in text message how angry she was getting. telling me that it wa sthe last time she was going to call only to call back 5 minutes later. Or telling me I needed to act like a man etc... so I felt like it was just an empty threat but you never know, But the next day she texted saying she was sorry and that she was not telling the truth about alot of things and that she was drunk and just lonely. I didt respond to that either. I have just continued with NC.

Of course I just want it all to go away. No more calls or contact but in my heart and gut IM starting to feel like I ahve more days likes this to come. Its very said to see omeone you love destroy themselves and becasue you are forced into Nc you have to just let it happen