Are they aware that they're mirroring us?

[j4c]

What are your thoughts on this? Are they consciously aware of what they are doing during the mirroring phase or does the need to impress & entrap us over-rule whats actually going on?

My guess is they've been doing it for that long it just becomes their way of life and all focus is on convincing the new "saviour" that they've met their perfect match! Surely deep down they must know alot of what they are saying is BS but as many of us have come to learn 'deep down' is a place not many pwBPD like to roam! 

[mtmc01]

No, I don't think they know. At least mine didn't. She truly felt as if I was her savior and the one to make her whole and take away the pain from her difficult life.

[wanttoknowmore]

I dont think they do it consciously. It is real at the time and therefore its so powerfull. Fake is not this effective. My experience is that it was so real and deep that I can not forget and move on.

[motherof1yearold]

I think mine did it for approval. On another thread they were talking about how Jodi Arias (suspected BPD/sociopath all over Tv for murder) mirrors her attorney, even down to hand gestures and clothing.

I also think BPD's have to mirror people around them because their unstable sense of identity. 

[maria1]

Good question.

Have you thought about your own mirroring in new relationships/ friendships. I can spot it in myself and others now.

We all mirror to a certain extent. It is part of human behaviour and not something we do consciously. I am much more conscious of doing it now following my BPD experience. That's because i am trying to work on myself and trying not to 'falsely' attract people.

I used to notice I'd sometimes pick up friends accents if I spent time with them. I'd also notice I'm quite easily influenced by men in particular so I could go off things I really like. 

I think BPDex and I mirrored each other strongly, fed off each other if you like, but I am sure his wasn't conscious either.

I don't believe people with BPD set out to hook us. I do believe that when they sense a possible abandonment their plans to keep us attached to them become more conscious. Mine truly believed he would die with that abandonment; its part of the illness and wasn't about me.

[whereisthezen]

Maria1 you have a really strong insight into mirroring healthy to unhealthy thanks for the insight into us all having a little more knowledge of ourselves, friends, and partners.