This has helped me feel that other understand

[Our abuse recovery guide]

My brother is getting out of a 10 year from hell relationship.  He's kept it all in for so long but now it's bubbling out of him.  My family always knew that his BP wife was crazy but for the sake of his autistic son we kept our noses out of their life. My family are supporting my brother and trying to get proper help for him as we get through this together.  This site is helping me see that we are not alone, and especially that women can and are certainly abusive.  As a mother of grown children I knew that my brother was being abused but I had no idea of the severity.  This woman seems at times to be downright evil but we are no longer sitting on the sideline allowing her to dictate and control everything. The safety of their child is my brother primary concern however after such a long time being controlled his fear of her and not wanting to get her mad again makes the issue of the their son incredibly difficult.  Thanks to all for listening.

[WorriedSibling]

My brother is getting out of a 10 year from hell relationship.  He's kept it all in for so long but now it's bubbling out of him.  My family always knew that his BP wife was crazy but for the sake of his autistic son we kept our noses out of their life. My family are supporting my brother and trying to get proper help for him as we get through this together.  This site is helping me see that we are not alone, and especially that women can and are certainly abusive.  As a mother of grown children I knew that my brother was being abused but I had no idea of the severity.  This woman seems at times to be downright evil but we are no longer sitting on the sideline allowing her to dictate and control everything. The safety of their child is my brother primary concern however after such a long time being controlled his fear of her and not wanting to get her mad again makes the issue of the their son incredibly difficult.  Thanks to all for listening.

[catnap]

  WORRIEDSIBLING

I am so glad that you have found us!  I can understand your concerns for your brother, as our family helped support my son through a relationship breakup that was complicated by his need to protect his infant daughter.    The fear can be at times overwhelming. 

You will find a great deal of help with navigating the legal channels of separation, divorce, custody with the resources we have available to you on  [L3] Family law, divorce and custody. You will find articles and workshops about dealing with the various aspects of separation and divorce. Our senior members at that board have lived through the issues of separation, divorce, and custody. They will help you to figure out what works and what may not work. They know the problems and the pitfalls; they offer a wealth of experience in protecting yourself and your children as you go through this difficult, painful process.

An excellent resource:

Splitting / Protecting yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or a Narcissist

Your brother is fortunate to have such loving support from his family during this incredibly difficult time. 

catnap

[WorriedSibling]

Thank you for the welcome.  I've been reading and sending my brother lots of information.  I can sense a difference in him, I know it will take a long time to recover but at least he is recognizing what has happened to him.  For the first time in almost a year he visited other family members so that tells me there is light at the end of this dark tunnel of his.