Many people who are intensely emotionally agitated do dissociate and do not remember the episode. This can happen in BPD rage (if you have ever seen the "crazy-eyes" during a rage, you will know what I mean), or in a BiPolar manic state, or for other reasons. It's also true that sometimes people may remember an event but cannot psychologically afford to admit the truth. They may project or gaslight or deny. They may even
believe the new version of events they have created. Then, there are people who know the truth but lie for other reasons.
So, when it comes to
our pwBPD, the traumatic events in
our past, which is it? Any of the above? All? None? I think it's impossible for us to say. At least until they finish inventing the mind-reading memory probe.
Does the reason for your abuser's denial make a difference to you in terms of what you need to do to look after yourself? Would it hurt any less if you knew the answer?
Wishing you peace,
PF