holidays

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I've been doing much better than I was when I first started posting here.  Work has been going well and I've even had a couple of nice dates.  When holidays come for some reason I feel sadness and anger towards my exBPD wife. I start to feel that my exBPD wife should have to pay a price for beating me, biting me, etc.  I wish that I had reported her to police.  That way she would have a record and not be able to volunteer with children the way she does.  It would also help me a lot - life would seem more fair.  I sometimes consider bringing charges even after all this time has passed.

[Scott44]

I've been doing much better than I was when I first started posting here.  Work has been going well and I've even had a couple of nice dates.  When holidays come for some reason I feel sadness and anger towards my exBPD wife. I start to feel that my exBPD wife should have to pay a price for beating me, biting me, etc.  I wish that I had reported her to police.  That way she would have a record and not be able to volunteer with children the way she does.  It would also help me a lot - life would seem more fair.  I sometimes consider bringing charges even after all this time has passed.

[captain4464]

Sadly, Scott44, the anger will remain, even if you do report her.  I found that looking forward and compartmentalizing past events, has been helpful for me.  That is not to say that the past should be ignored but enjoy even the smallest things in life and look forward to improving your future.  Disengaging from BPDs is difficult and I suspect we all have a little voice inside that wants them to see the light and be responsible for their actions.  That won't happen.  They will blame us, so the anger will remain. :'(