Help I gave what she wanted.

[Whitefang]

If she doesn't want me, why does she continue following me around the Internet & sending msgs to everybody she sees me talking to?  These ppl don't know her but she's sure to introduce herself then proceed to "warn" or badmouth me to any potential new friends.  

What makes her think she's a vigilante?  Trust me, I'm no threat to anyone.  But she wants me not to exist bc of all my past "sins".   Then she sends ME a msg saying "go away & don't cine back"... .   Ok?  Its exactly what I should be saying to her.  

I've" gone away" alright.  Could it be bc I finally stopped pining for her after being strung on for mos?  I'm "moving on", doing exactly what she requested.  But why the stalking & contacting total strangers?  Why the immature ultimatums being cast on remaining mutual acquaintances?  She flat tells them "I won't talk to you anymore if you're talking to him".  :)iscussion is out of the question for them.  It's her way or the highway.

I feel at this point, it's mixed signals at best.  When will she let Me go, as in stop even thinking abt me & trying to dictate something in my life?  Are they capable of indifference?  

[Leaf]

Sounds like she doesn't want her HardHabit-toy anymore but she doesn't want anybody else to play with it either. It belongs to her. And she has rewritten the story in her head. She needs a script in which her false self, her facade, is impeccable. In the new version of the story she's the hero and HardHabit is the bad guy and she doesn't want anyone around her who reminds her of the original version. She apparently hasn't found a new toy yet that completely absorbs her – until she gets tired of that one as well.

[Whitefang]

LEAF:  I know you're right.  The part of the "discard" I don't get is the lingering resentment & intrusion into my social life.  To me, done is done. Since she won't talk to me, why talk abt me?  I've worked long & hard to get to the NC point.  I've endured the grand finale of ST, resigned to never get answers, withstood a major smear campaign. 

I know there's no appeal & I can't influence, rescue or control her.  How do you deal with such rejection that stays in your face all the time?  I already live 600mi away now but not giving up the Internet.   She finds me.   

I guarantee she wouldn't talk to me if I was the last person on earth.  My reaction has been to have no reaction.   Is this making it worse?  Why do I feel there's no true escape?  She is haunting.   

I really don't think she can accept the fact I will continue to exist... .   And that is a terrible feeling. 

[Leaf]

I've just read 'In sheep's clothing – Understanding and dealing with manipulative people' by George Simon. It's about covert-agressive personalities. Might be because I've just read the book but your ex sounds like one because she's determined to 'win' and apparently wants to see you completely defeated and squirming on the ground. Just because she hates to lose. Losing control of you is considered losing. The book says they're very good at convincing other people so they can be successful for a long time but usually more and more people will see the light and in the end their house of cards will fall down.