how did you feel when you made the decision to permanantly leave the r/s

[NonBPDSpouse]

It was tough for the first 2 months and I didn't know how to feel, but after about 2 months of her moving out,

I felt a tremendous weight lift off my chest and it felt good.

Nothing she can say upsets me anymore and I am looking forward to a BPD-less future... .


Did anyone else feel this way?

[marbleloser]

Yes. I no longer dreaded pulling into the garage.I knew what I was coming home to.It was empty,but peaceful.I began to enjoy being home and having the freedom to be me.

[AnalogGuy]

For me it was a rollercoaster.

I felt so relieved for the first couple of months.  Then, I got depressed during the divorce proceedings and constantly hearing her lies and attempts to get back into contact.

I struggled for four to six months I suppose before I *really* started to recover.

That was almost 5 years ago and this last year has been the happiest of my life.

So I would say be prepared for some dark moments and a lot of self pity.  But know it will pass and you'll be much, much better for taking control of your own life.

[KE151]

I echo analogguy.

There was an immediate feeling of relief which was soon followed by huge longing for her, feelings of loneliness, anxiety, low self worth, bad sleep, depression.

I hope you continue on the positive path, but just in case you start to feel pain, remember it will pass... .   you'll come out of this stronger and more self aware.

Keep doing things you enjoy, try to stay social, and try not to suppress your feelings too much... .  

Take care!

[laelle]

I echo analogguy.

There was an immediate feeling of relief which was soon followed by huge longing for her, feelings of loneliness, anxiety, low self worth, bad sleep, depression.

I hope you continue on the positive path, but just in case you start to feel pain, remember it will pass... .   you'll come out of this stronger and more self aware.

Keep doing things you enjoy, try to stay social, and try not to suppress your feelings too much... .  

Take care!

What he said.

[LuckyEscapee]

Relief, confusion, anger, peace, happiness.

Still learning though, about BPD, and myself along the way.

[Maryiscontrary]

Just before the decision, I was thinking that I could not live life in the present state. The terms had become non negotiable. The situation had become unbearable. I just could not believe it.

I knew if he did not get help, and solutions were found, pronto, I could not hold out much longer.

Huge relief. Severe crushing PTSD and all the nice bugs that come with that. I thought then, "what an idiot, throwing his best friend and his loved business away". I try to change places with him. Even if I was psychotic amd very mentally ill, I would have fought tooth and nail to keep my marriage and my business together.


He just gave up. So the shock of the loss of such a wonderful partnership. That is what happened. That is how I felt.

[draft]

Numb, ignoring, relief, anger, pain, sad, hopeless, clarity, happiness

Back and forth a few times. It's been about half a year.