What a cute story
I’m a stepmom-to-be and I met my skids when they were 6 and 8, both girls. Your post reminds me of how things were for us when they were that age, it is so precious, you’re right! The girls mum has always tried to poison them against me and she’s still at it today; she has never eased up and I don’t think she ever will (my skids are now 15 and almost 17).
As they got older we went through an extremely difficult phase. Because we had such a good bond to begin with and uBPD’s poison didn’t seem to take hold I never saw it coming. I always thought the younger they were, the more impressionable, so once we established a good bond that would be the end of it. But that was not the case and after a couple of years, I think they were 11 and 12, things suddenly changed. It was like uBPD finally got a hold on them. They started questioning and accusing us of some pretty awful things and I didn’t handle that very well. After all those years they should know better! Because I was so hurt and upset over it I lost my temper a couple of times and of course uBPD cashed in on that.
Realising this mistake I have worked very hard at changing my own behaviour. I didn’t want to become an angry and bitter person and I didn’t want to give uBPD the satisfaction of knowing she got under my skin. So over the past 4 years I have changed to a new and improved version of my old happy self
. I learned to accept that the kids are affected by what their mum says and that our actions speak louder than her words; one day they’ll see things for what they really are. But I didn’t have a lot of hope that it would be any time soon.
Long story short; over the past year or so things have begun to change, and for the better. The light at the end of the tunnel, I’m so happy! The girls are starting to open up to us again and our bond is becoming better. I now realise that they always knew, deep down, that things were not how uBPD made them out to be, but they just couldn’t show it to us for some time. My partner always kept the faith.
I wanted to share this although I hope that this won’t happen to you guys of course
