Today I saw something very strange.
I was going through old pictures, because I was looking for one special. The one I was looking for was not of my stbx, but there were different ones of her, especially from in the beginning of our life together, which was 10 years ago.
I was looking at them and was struck: the woman in the pictures was the one I fell in love with! The woman that I am going to divorce is not the woman in that pictures! She now is looking so very very different as she was 10 years ago. Not prettier, not less, not just aged; just different! I know that appearances change in 10 years, but not in this way.
Any explanation?
I think the illness takes a lot out of them. Their mind is a constant state of turmoil... . and happiness projects itself from the inside out. Stress is just a huge factor. For reference, I noticed a huge difference in my parent's appearance after my brother got hit by a truck and was in a coma for a week. They looked like they aged 10 years in a course of 6 months while he rehabbed. These were tough times.
My exBPD-wife's appearance during our final stages of divorce was rough, to be honest. She lost a ton of weight, looked haggard, tired, and unhealthy.