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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: Removing an internet smear campaign  (Read 454 times)
SerenityNow1

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« on: April 09, 2013, 08:55:19 AM »

I have no idea if this is the right place to post this but I haven't posted here in about a year. I moved on from my ex and I haven't spoken to her since around this time last year. Last night I recieved a google alert with my name in it from a web site called datingpsychos and another one from womansavers. Apparently my ex has created a profile using my first and last name that contains all kinds of made up lies about me that said I did all of these horrible things to her (verbally abused, physically abused, cheated, i'm a sexual deviant, liar) etc.

Every detail is completely made up or fabricated. So now when I google my name the fifth thing that comes up is this web site. For obvious reasons I need this to be removed. I have reached out to my ex this morning and said quite simply please remove my information from those sites and no response is necessary.

If she doesn't respond which I don't think she will. She could care less about ruining my reputation and life. Do I have any recourse here? My dad also has the same name as I do and he has a really high profile job in the same city I live in so I don't want it to affect his reputation either. Has anyone ever dealt with this? I've tried searching through the archives and it seemed like people had similar situations with facebook and myspace but I couldn't find anything with one of these public web sites.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can get this matter resolved as quickly as possible?  I would really appreciate it.

Thanks

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Surnia
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
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« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2013, 10:01:34 AM »

This is really tough! I think you need to talk to someone who is firm with internet law, probably a lawyer. I would not contact her a second time.

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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
lockedout
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Relationship status: separated since 1/13
Posts: 259


« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2013, 11:03:23 AM »

I'm not sure what state you live in but how it's handled would depend on that. For one thing, do you have proof that she is the one making the posting? That would be pertinent in deciding whether to go after her or the website that did the posting.

In my state, the course of action would be to put the person on notice (a certified letter from an attorney is the best communication) advising them that the material is libelous and defamatory in nature. From that point on they have 5 days to retract the statements. If they don't then you have grounds for a lawsuit. If she's smart, she'll most likely simply remove them and you'll never hear another word mentioned again. But you do have to take some kind of action because ignoring it is the same as condoning it.

If you don't have money to hire an attorney for it, you may be able to do this on your own - just know what your state laws are before you do it. If she blows you off, file a lawsuit. You're still a long way from your day in court (which will likely never happen) but she'll end up having to spend money to defend it until she resolves the issue.
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HarmKrakow
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« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2013, 11:06:33 AM »

1. get an IT specialist to check the IP of the one who posted that utter rubbish about you

2. if you can trace that rubbish to her, you have a solid case and thus call a laywer NOW.

3. if you can't trace any way that she did that to you, still call a lawyer NOW.

Why wait? Seriously. Call, do action. It takes years to build a reputation, the moment 'smearing' starts on the internet it takes forever to erase it. So please act Smiling (click to insert in post)
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SerenityNow1

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« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2013, 11:45:04 AM »

I can prove that she is the one making the posting because the username that posted it is the first initial of her first name and the last three initials of her last name and I'm sure it can be traced back to her email address. I sent her a text and a voicemail about removing it and so far nothing has been done. I'm kind of freaking out about it so I guess I'll have to call a lawyer.

Hopefully this is will be a lesson for people who are ever thinking about getting back with someone with BPD. They will try to ruin your life. They have no conscience and will do whatever it takes.
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