I'm in the process of detatching from my former unhealthy relationship, with a person that definitly caries some BPD traits, but are not diagnosed, and not in therapy.
Sometimes, when i find myself reading about Red flags, Projection, Recyceling etc. i find my self wondering. In my RS, i had my focus on my self, as i was going through a period, where i was ( and still are in therapy. ) and many times, i mirrored myself in my ex way of dealing with feelings, as she had been going through a period with therapy/coaching/healing/ Alternative therapy. And it seemed, that she had some good tools to be in her feelings.
Ive always been a thinker, and not very close to my emotions... .
In some way, when i read about ex. red flags. I can relate, totaly; She told her ex was speaking to her, very bad, she wasnt used to compliments, said that the karma in the room, would get bad when he came home from work, never where there for her, always working. But her old boyfreinds ( 7 years before ) always wanted the best for her, thus it was only sex, and she got tired of them in about a year or a ½.
I think back, On a holiday, she asked me why i always talked about my exes ( after a conflict ), as they where someone i actually didnt want to be with. And i said, that i always, thus the different personalities saw something good in all of them. but i was oftent choosing a relationship, where i could keep my distance.
See. here im struggeling.
I can see her as the BPD in many ways, especially her roles in the drama triangle ( Persecuter, victim ) and myself in the ( rescuer, victim - but also sometimes in the pesecuter role ) Perfect Drama.
But the projection is hard for me to cope with, before it can always be taken back to yourself. Eg. thinking on her in the situation, but after this rollercoaster, i can easily doubt myself.
anyone else had theese
