One of the things that make life interesting

[DazedButNotConfused]

Oh boy! Life with my dBPDh can be a challenge !

My h sent me two emails. I had to wait to read them because I had a client. He then calls me and tells me to disregard them - so I do. I get home and he asks if I had read them. I said that I hadn't because he had told me not to. Obviously, that was wrong ... .  

Among other things, the rage included my h saying that I must not know him beacause if I really did, I would have read them even if he said not to.

And so goes life with a pwBPD ... .  

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[zaqsert]

Hi DazedButNotConfused.  I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that, again!

It sure seems amazing how we are expected to mind-read.  Early in my relationship with my uBPDw we joked about the concept of mind reading.  Then several years later I started feeling angry at how I was expected to mind-read so often.  Now, finally, after lots of reading, lessons, more therapy of my own, and great support from people here, I'm finally learning to accept it and not take it so personally.  But it does still catch me by surprise often.

Hang in there and, as wise people here often point out, keep doing what you need for yourself to help keep yourself sane.

[Chosen]

That sucks!  Don't you think that sometimes BPD men are a bit like those stereotypical women, who expect their partners to mind-read, can't make decisions, and say no when they mean yes?

Certainly this seems to be the case for your H and mine... .  

[Rockylove]

That sucks!  Don't you think that sometimes BPD men are a bit like those stereotypical women, who expect their partners to mind-read, can't make decisions, and say no when they mean yes?

Certainly this seems to be the case for your H and mine... .  

and mine... .   good grief! 

[yeeter]

One key to your own sanity and survival, is to let go of the concept that the thinking will be rational and logical.

[VeryFree]

My stbxw is that way exactly. You’re supposed to mindread and if you try you musn’t. Example: at first as she was angry, followed by sad I would try to comfort her. Give her a shoulder to cry on. Her remarks: leave me alone.

The next time I would leave her alone, followed by her complaining I didn’t give her a shoulder to cry on.

The third time I gave my shoulder and she hit me. I shouldn’t touch her: yikes!

[daylily]

That sucks!  Don't you think that sometimes BPD men are a bit like those stereotypical women, who expect their partners to mind-read, can't make decisions, and say no when they mean yes?

Certainly this seems to be the case for your H and mine... .   

SO TRUE, CHOSEN!

[daylily]

One key to your own sanity and survival, is to let go of the concept that the thinking will be rational and logical.

This is a great reminder.  I find it hard to do when my uBPDh seems to think rationally and logically some of the time, then BOOM, I'm hit with the illogical stuff.  Catches me off guard.   

[waverider]

dont forget that any misunderstanding and rage is "his stuff". try not to get drawn into it, and start defending yourself