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Author Topic: liberation?  (Read 559 times)
nolisan
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« on: April 18, 2013, 03:04:30 AM »



Black Dakini

The Dark Face of the Void

    I am the black dakini, goddess of the Void

    I am the night sky empty of stars

    the lake without reflections

    When I take on human form, I am wrathful in appearance

    With skin and hair that is blue-black

    And jewelry that is of jet and ebony

    In a sky of deep sapphire blue

    I sit on a lotus with petals of gold,

    and a center of black velvet

    When I have two hands, I hold the vajra and bell

    When I have four hands, I also hold the noose and the goad

    In my six armed form, I add the axe and the mala.

    My true form is in the depths of space,

    The vast reaches of silence

    But with the sound of HUM I emerge,

    in the form of a spinning black vajra edged in gold

    Around me are HUMS like beads on a string

    Spinning, exploding, shooting blue pearls of light

    in every direction.

    I am called by many names.

    As Nairatmya, I am the dark face of the Void

    the waves upon the lightless ocean

    I am the crow-headed goddess, flying high

    my feathers in black, green, blue, and purple

    I am the black goddess of death

    holding the world in my arms

    as I return to the deep waters

    I am the mother who brings forth children from dark nothingness

    who watches their lives and their deaths.

    I am a wrathful emanation of Vajra Dakini,

    she of rainbow crystal

    Yet I am also her origin out of the dark void.

    I dance with my bhairava

    to the drumbeats of the heart of the universe

    And from our dance come millions of whirling comets

    Who form the guardians of the vajra worlds

    When the dance is stopped, the comets return

    And the universe is re-absorbed into our footsteps.

    I create from the void and call things back to return

    I tear apart form and attachment

    My nails tear bonds to ribbons

    which dance in the winds of prana

    Those are my prayer-flags, and the banners of my warriors

    They scatter the shreds of karma

    before the winds of the Void

    To create the dances of the worlds

    I may be of help to the aspirant, but I am dangerous

    For I will take away all he possesses

    If he gives them up gladly,

    we will dance together in their ashes

    But if he clings to them

    He will lose his mind and his heart.

    I seek only beings ready for full liberation

    Leave all behind and we will find beauty

    In the emptiness that remains.

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nolisan
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« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2013, 03:22:12 AM »

She told me one time that she was a "dakini" and I believe it. She didn't quite destroy me but I didn't give it all away (enlightenmet). So I am stuck forever in limbo. Best just to sign my will over and step out> pass to the superior being.

She is a practicing witch ... .   I believe she was and still is casting dome kind of evil on me. Just die - leave you money to me.

I never used to believe in this stuff but now it do - she wants me dead and is working hard to make it a reality.

r

Should i just give her what she eant and finally be free? I failed at this opportunity for inlightement - cring to self. I f_cjed up. My only changce ... .   I am forener doomed
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NiceGuy83
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« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2013, 03:47:48 AM »

I understand this feeling only too well, but it passes.

Call a close friend or family member at least once a day.  Go to work.  Get some exercise. 

Stop giving in.  Fight back.

What you crave is relief, an end to the pain so you can feel normal again.  What you are tempted by will not bring a feeling of relief, ever again.

Your life is a gift.  You might write the world's most beautiful song, or save a life, or father the man who ends war.  Anything is possible... .   unless you give up.  Then, you'll have done nothing but hurt those who still love you. 
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NiceGuy83
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« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2013, 03:48:57 AM »

Dylan Thomas -

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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Lady31
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« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2013, 04:16:03 AM »

Nolisan,

This is disturbing to me.  The state you are in does not sound good in your posts.  I will speak this quite clearly as a christian on this board. 

If she is a practicing witch as you say... .   it sounds like you are now coming to some kind of belief in the spiritual realm/forces she is operating in.  I understand this quite well.

From your posts it does not appear that you are a christian but are into some other things.  I am going to say this not to offend you, but because I am worried about you and this is not a time to be concerned with stepping on toes because of the potential COST of what you are up against.

This is a serious spiritual situation and you clearly are feeling & seeing the effects first hand if you are going through what I think you are.  You will know what I am saying to you. Many people think this is made up/nuts - until it happens to THEM.

You do not have to agree with this - and I can't force you to.  You take from it what you will.  The power of Jesus Christ alone will oppose/break what you are seeing/experiencing.  If this is really what is going on, again - you will know what I am saying.  If she truly knows what she is doing that can be very dangerous.   

I am going to start praying for you right now.  If you are not open to Christ (in the way christianity preaches, not as a prophet or any other doctrine) I understand.  If, however, you find that the spiritual resource you have is powerless against this and you need help - there is a way and He is it.
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nolisan
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Posts: 332



« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2013, 03:07:06 AM »

I have done some work with Shamans wrt "soul release.

Tempted to talk with  my Franciscan healers - I have not told them about the witch stuff. I'm afraid they will reject me as tainted.
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Surnia
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900



« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2013, 05:25:27 AM »

Hi nolisan

I am worried too about your situation right now!

You wrote recently that you are not in T anymore. What about reaching out again to a T?

Please stay tuned!
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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
VeryFree
Formerly known as 'VeryScared' and 'ABitAnnoyed'
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 549



« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2013, 05:52:25 AM »

Heavy stuff Nolisan.

Allthough it maybe seems that way now, remember that you're not alone in this one: many can identify with you and your feelings. Please use these boards to share them with us.

Sometimes we have to travel very dark roads to go where we should be. But we will get there eventually!

Take care!

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