Hi there livetoofar,

Glad you joined us but sorry for what brings you here. You aren't alone here. Many of us have family members with BPD. How much contact do you have with this relative? How old are her children? This article may be of help to you:
How a Mother with Borderline Personality Disorder Affects Her ChildrenThere is a lot of healing and support to be found here, as well as information. Keep posting, livetoofar. I look forward to learning more about you and watching your journey. Sending you much caring and support.