The "Truth"

[Haileyscharm]

As i begin to come out of the FOG, it is the "Truth" i see that hurts the most. As painful as it is, I (like most of you) I have to face the "Truth"

Truth is~ You will never be fully capable of loving me the way I deserved to be loved.

Truth is~ I wanted to believe all those wonderful things you said about me that made me "The One". Now i struggle knowing you said whatever you needed to say in the moment. I don't feel so special anymore.

Truth is~ I loved you unconditionally but even that was never enough.

Truth is~ I loved you more than I loved myself because I gave you all of me. In doing this I neglected my own well being.

Truth is~ You took my most valuable gift of compassion and used it for your own selfish reasons.

Truth is~ You lied about your health, making me think you had cancer so I woudln't leave you. Did it ever occur to you how much of an emotionally toll it took on me thinking you were going to die?

Truth is~ I wanted to fix you and save you because everyone else failed you in life. So I believed.

Truth is~ You accused me of things that I didn't do. It was all in your mind.

Truth is~ I wanted to believe the sex was like no other because we were soulmates. I was just your object. It was me who gave my soul.

Truth is~ You abused me emotionally, verbally and threatned suicide to controll me. Why I allowed this I will never know.

Truth is~ I wanted to believe you when you said you would change after every time you left and then wanted me back.

Truth is~ I wish there was a magic pill that would cure you and all of my dreams of us in the future "Happy" would come true. I realize this will never happen.

Truth is~ I suffered in silence because who would believe me or understand this.

Truth is~ I now have to accept this madness you created and I allowed. I will not continue to let you damage me any further. There is a reason for this and a lesson to be learned.

Truth is~ I will never get the answers I so desprately seek. I have to accept this.

Truth is~ I am going to Survive this. I will now love myself like I used to before you entered my life. I will make sure I come out even stronger after being beat down. I will NOT let you steal another day of my life away. Time will heal my wounds and while you are still drowning in your despair. I will find happiness once again. I know because I LOVE ME!

[causticdork]

 

Heck yeah!  Preach on, brotha!

[healingmyheart]

Haileyscharm,

AMEN to that!  Thank you... .   I needed that.  I can relate to most all of those esp. whereby we have to accept the madness they created and we allowed.  I also believe there is a reason for this and something to be learned.  We can only grow from this if we do the deep internal work which is necessary.  

[LostSunshine]

A very empowering post!  My thanks for this!

[minaccia]

Yes, that's the truth (small case).

A very touching truth that made me cry.

And you (we) were part of it more or less intentionally.

WHY did we intentionally took part of it? The answer to this, will give  you (us) the TRUTH (capital letters)

[Surnia]

Welcome here, Haileyscharm

and yes a big  for this one

Truth is~ I am going to Survive this. I will now love myself like I used to before you entered my life. I will make sure I come out even stronger after being beat down. I will NOT let you steal another day of my life away. Time will heal my wounds and while you are still drowning in your despair. I will find happiness once again. I know because I LOVE ME!

[Surrender]

Truth is~ I am going to Survive this. I will now love myself like I used to before you entered my life. I will make sure I come out even stronger after being beat down. I will NOT let you steal another day of my life away. Time will heal my wounds and while you are still drowning in your despair. I will find happiness once again. I know because I LOVE ME!

Thank you so much for this Haileyscharm, that was incredible and self-invigorating. It has helped me today a great deal on this low day. Awesome!