She Asked Me To Delete All Her Contact Details.

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

So i did. Every one of them. However after some months of 100% NC from both of us, she is now trying to make covert contact with me.

My question is, if she wanted me not to contact her by asking me to delete all her contact details, phone number e mail etc, then why is she trying to re make contact with me?

[Willingtolearn]

So i did. Every one of them. However after some months of 100% NC from both of us, she is now trying to make covert contact with me.

My question is, if she wanted me not to contact her by asking me to delete all her contact details, phone number e mail etc, then why is she trying to re make contact with me?

[Suzn]

What do you want in this scenario Willingtolearn?  We can play the guessing game all day trying to figure out what she wants, the only accurate answers will come by looking at what you want.

[BlushAndBashful]

Because it's what they do. Period.

I do have to chuckle, because I haven't been in the dating world since technology really took off- but seriously asking someone to delete all their contact info? Because asking someone to not contact you again isn't good enough? You have to tell someone to "lose my number"?

Sorry, that's my "damn I'm getting old" tangent.

[Somewhere]

So i did. Every one of them. However after some months of 100% NC from both of us, she is now trying to make covert contact with me.

My question is, if she wanted me not to contact her by asking me to delete all her contact details, phone number e mail etc, then why is she trying to re make contact with me?

While pondering "why . . . "

Why not step in a bear trap to see what pain feels like?

Consider this your test.

[wanttoknowmore]

willing... .

Her asking to delete your contact info.after months of NC ... .   interesting but understandable. It appears to me an ice-breaker.

Most likely, this is her way of testing the waters... .   it's a subtle message that

"I haven't gotten over you... .   I still think about you... . will you like to come back?" OR testing if she still have her hooks inside you.

She is terrified of rejection and suffers from huge shame... .   so first she wants to get a sense of what are the chances of her being rejected. She wants to ensure unconditional acceptance and no criticism about what she did.

Now, big question is do you want to re enter into drama-land ... . its "drama part 2"  If you feel like you have become a great actor and great director and willing to take risk of more heartbreak... .   it seems to me an indirect invitation.

I might be wrong... . its just my opinion.

[Sleep doc]

Alright let me ask you a few questions:

1) if she told you she was boning new dude or dudes would you want contact?

2). If she decides at the drop of a hat to shame you would that make you want to contact?

3). If she told you that she needs you to do all these things for her in her life so she can function but you get nothing in return other than wondering where the hell she is half the time or why when she promised to be somewhere she is in a hour late would that make ou want o contact?

If the answer is yes then well god speed... .  

[Willingtolearn]

Thanks for the replies.  I will elaborate why i have asked this question.

As i stated after the break up she asked me to delete all her contact details.  I did WILLINGLY. I knew within myself that i had finished with her for good.  I went NC for 10 months. Then suddenly after all that time the covert calls started a few weeks ago. I won't contact  this person ever again. However she is i believe trying to get a response from me over her actions. I do wonder where this could lead  on HER behalf.

If they tell you to delete ALL their contact details then one would assume they never want contact with you again.  However the opposite now seems to be occuring.

The reason i asked the question is because i want to understand.  TO BE FOREWARNED IS TO BE FOREARMED.

[SWLSR]

This is not unusual.   The delete comment is an attempt to hurt you.  They will continue to try to hurt you.  If leaving you alone does not work they will try to suck you in.

[Billa]

I do have to chuckle, because I haven't been in the dating world since technology really took off- but seriously asking someone to delete all their contact info? Because asking someone to not contact you again isn't good enough? You have to tell someone to "lose my number"?

my exBf asked the same thing to me... .  

[GreenMango]

I try not to ask "why did they... .   , what does that mean" - mostly because even if I know the psychological reason it still doesn't make any sense.  It's a rabbit hole of the worst kind.

Someone can want for all kinds of nonsense from you.  Asking what Suzn asked- what do you want?  If you want to keep the number if for no other reason than to know when not to pick up the phone then keep it. 

[daze]

Ignore it and continue taking care of yourself.



Daze