Temporary Order of Protection filed against me

[multiball]

My exPWBPD had me arrested on false trespassing charges.  The next day she filed for and was granted a TOP against me.

I have evidence that proves (IMO) that she lied repeatedly on the form.

My court date is rapidly approaching.  I have contacted two lawyers and I intend on hiring them both.  I speak with one tomorrow.

Any advice is welcomed.

[multiball]

Has anyone had any success having their ex subjected to a psych eval?

Would it be beneficial to have her exes testify in court regarding her past lies?

Should I try to drag her existing friends into this to testify and potentially purgure themselves?

NC is without question and certainly desired.  The town is small and the order covers quite a large area so the order has an effect on me.

I'm being slandered publicly.  I've spent time in jail unjustly.  I've been restricted from engaging in my hobbies and having access to the most populous parts of the city.  I'm a bit frustrated.

How many statements do I need to prove are completely false?  How many do I need to prove are at least partially false?

Is it possible for her to actually be convicted for the felony of pergury?

[swimjim]

I just got mine dismissed 2 weeks ago. She lied in court.The judge does not care if she lies and perjurs herself in court. My attorney and I had lots of data (phone records and emails) to prove her lies. It was really spooky to see how good she was at lying in court. Don't bother with the psych evaluation unless you want to pay $1500 to bring a shrink into the courtroom. Mine is over and I am vindicated but there are no real winners in this situation. These women should pay the attorney fees as a punishment if you are able like myself to get it dismissed. Unfortunately, that does not happen. Good luck and I hope you get yours dismissed. I know what you are going through. Remember, documents... .   paper trail... .   evidence. My ex even tried to trap me by throwing a bone at me while the restraining order was in effect to try to get me to violate it. These are vindictive women. To think at one time, she wanted to marry me.

[multiball]

I'm currently willing to spend all of my savings and retirement to have the truth come out.  If it is $1500 or so it would be money well spent, IMO.

How were you able to get it dismissed if the judge didn't care about the lies?  Is it just that he didn't care about them being illegal?

[ForeverDad]

So, two years of your life invested with her and this is where you are now?  What about you?  Do you realize there is no future together?  Have you accepted that?  (If not, then she's not your only problem, you yourself need help.)

I would think that one aspect of your defense would be to let the judge know the relationship is over.  One concern the judges have is that they don't want revolving door litigants and targets.  If you express, in addition to your other defense, that you know it's definitely over and you have no interest in future contact and that you've had to legal problems before now, the judge may agree there's not basis, not even for vague "fearfulness".

This doesn't mean you don't defend yourself.  You do so vigorously, since if it isn't dismissed and an order is made, that could haunt you for years to come.

Is this criminal or civil?  Plea deals are a big no-no.  The problem with plea deals is that they usually mean you plead to a lesser charge or infraction.  In other words, if you did that you'd be admitting some level of guilt.  That's not good.

Beware of being overly honest.  She could probably get up and lie her teeth off, nothing you can do about that exceept to disprove as much as you can and deny the rest.  But you need to be careful how you speak.  You lawyer will advise you.  Beware of saying "Yes but... .   " or "No but... .   " since all they would hear is the first word.  Sadly, court is not about justice or fairness, some judges even disclaim, "I don't know who's more truthful or less truthful but here's my decision anyway... .   "  (The old joke is the DA asking, "So, have you stopped beating your wife/GF?" Of course any answer would be the wrong one.  )

Does she have a history of filing allegations against past BFs?  (If so and if you can get documentation, it would help you imensely to defend yourself from a person who has a history of ending relationships with a TOP as final punishment.  For many of us, typically all past relationships are described as abusive ones by the ex and so you 'rescued' her from those 'bad' men.  But sadly, now you've been blacklisted too and you're one of Them. :'(

Most courts don't care about perjury.  Some even assume it.  Hopefully a lot of her claims will be seen as hearsay and unprovable.  Still, you have to vigorously defend yourself.  Present all proofs you can.  Present cold hard facts, you don't have to be an emotional blamer like her.

Will she face consequences for having you arrested?  Who knows?  Maybe, maybe not.  (I'm a bit jaded about the judicial system, so I'll say probably not.)

Sadly, courts generally don't try to do psych evals or 'fix' people.  They deal with them as they are.  But if you can give evidence she has a pattern of doing this then it will make it appear that's she's the likely problem, not you.

Let's hope the case gets dismissed even before you finish defending yourself.  But don't count on it.

[multiball]

Oh it is most certainly over.  It has been over for a while.

Only reason I had any contact at all is because of her suicide threats.  I was foolish.

I went out of my way to avoid communication and she'd essentially say "Communicate with me or I kill myself".

So I shouldn't try to force a psych eval that describes her as having BPD traits?

I know that she's manipulated and lied with past BFs.  Would it be useful to have them take the stand?

[multiball]

Could I get her past counselors to testify that she has issues?

[Forward2free]

Just my opinion, but proving she has further issues does not excuse you of what she has accused you of. Your time may be better spent proving that the allegations she has made against you are false. Anything else is mud slinging and may take the focus off the truth about you.

Even though NBPDxh had no less than 27 OOP against him previously and he'd been proven to take out an OOP against all of them in retaliation, I still had to state my case to get him to drop his fabricated OOP against me.

In the end, he dropped his and mine was awarded, but his mental condition (which is subjective depending on who conducts the test) was not considered relevant, nor was his extensive history of OOPs.

Character witnesses for you and those who can confirm your version of events may be better in your case.

[ForeverDad]

Courts care little about changing people or whether they have a mental illness of whatever impact on their lives.

They deal with the behaviors under certain circumstances and much less about the cause of the behaviors.  Think of the person arrested for DUI.  They could care less about the person's life and other behaviors or what they do when not driving.  They just want the person to stop driving while intoxicated or under the influence.

[broken3]

Multiball,

Been there done that.

No need for psych. eval. Get a good lawyer. And disprove or explain each accusation on the report.

You will probably get a dismissal. Or if she sees you are fighting it. She may withdraw.

The judge will not hear about perjery or slander unfortunately.

[momtara]

You seem very angry and ready to fight, which I completely understand.  However, try to take a breath.  Don't let her rile you to the point that you go into court and look like the erratic one.  Make sure your lawyers are giving you good advice.  Good luck!