Medium Chill

[Beachbumforlife]

Do a lot of you employ this with success?  And if so, have you found it useful in other areas of your life as well simply by knowing the tecnique.  For example with a difficult co-worker or something? 

[lbjnltx]

Wise mind (mindfulness) and validation are much more healthy skills to use for non's as well as for the person with BPD.




More information here... .  

[Beachbumforlife]

Thank you so much for responding lbjnltx!  I will take a look at that link.

What do you mean though by validation?  Is that part of this 'wise mind'?

[lbjnltx]

Validation is a communication skill to improve the relationship.  In it's most effective state validation:

lets them know they are heard and understood

can create within them a more calm state

helps us to stay focused on being present in the moment w/out problem solving or becoming emotionally distraught

can lead to the opportunity to present validating questions which in turn keeps the problem solving responsibility with them where it belongs

when they come up with their own solutions they are empowered

The best resource for learning the art of validation I have found:

"I Don't Have To Make Everything All Better"

Here is a workshop on validation to get you started while you wait for the book :

Communication:  Validation Tools and Techniques

[Beachbumforlife]

Oh wow, thank you again.  I'll check out that book.  And the link, I'll explore further.  At quick glance it looked very useful.  Maybe I need to self validate too.  I could use some of that. Maybe I'll start a thread on it. 

[lbjnltx]

Oh wow, thank you again.  I'll check out that book.  And the link, I'll explore further.  At quick glance it looked very useful.  Maybe I need to self validate too.  I could use some of that. Maybe I'll start a thread on it. 

Self validation is imperative in order to affectively and authentically validate others.

Once you get a handle on what that means to you and how to go about doing it hosting a thread would a good idea

[Beachbumforlife]

Oh wow, thank you again.  I'll check out that book.  And the link, I'll explore further.  At quick glance it looked very useful.  Maybe I need to self validate too.  I could use some of that. Maybe I'll start a thread on it. 

Self validation is imperative in order to affectively and authentically validate others.

Once you get a handle on what that means to you and how to go about doing it hosting a thread would a good idea

Oops.  I might have jumped the gun then.  {blush}. But hopefully others will chime in with some good suggestions to get me started.   

[lbjnltx]

 

Not so much "jumping the gun" as needing enough info to ask relevant questions and guide a valuable discussion.

You can do it!

[Beachbumforlife]

Not so much "jumping the gun" as needing enough info to ask relevant questions and guide a valuable discussion.

You can do it!

Thanks lbjnltx!