New to this message board and at wits end

[Hopeful0109]

Hi. I'm 31 and a new mom. My mother has BPD and I have struggled with her abuse for the majority of my life. I've been in therapy for years trying to cope with her and, while it has been helpful, it is not enough. I am hoping to comiserate with others, find new ways and strategies for creating and maintaining boundaries with my mom for not only my own well being but that of my son and husband as well, and offer support where I can. I'm not sure where to start and am nervous about participating in this group. Right now my mother and I are not speaking due to a recent argument over my dad (they are getting a divorce) and my son where some very nasty words were said and suicide was threatened. I am so tired of this situation and very few people seem to understand how frustrating it is living with a parent who has BPD.

[Being Mindful]

A warm welcome to you Hopeful0109,

I'm so glad you are here. We can help.

I remember too when I first came here and how nervous I was. I had never participated in a group like this. What I quickly learned is that this is a great place to be and it's really safe. All of us have some type of relationship with a person suffering with BPD. Our stories are all similar. Many of us land here completely exhausted and feel a loss of our self. It's all okay and there is no judgment here, only compassion, truth and a desire to learn how to better cope and improve our own situations.

Here is a link to a workshop to get you started on some reading:

Children of BPD Parents: Reclaiming Our Lost Selves

And, a book:

Understanding the Borderline Mother

I'm happy that you have sought the support of a therapist. Many of us have. Please keep reading and posting.

Is your dad supportive of you?

Was your mom recently diagnosed.

I'm looking forward to hearing back from you and learning how we can help.

Being Mindful

[Kwamina]

I am so tired of this situation and very few people seem to understand how frustrating it is living with a parent who has BPD.

Hi Hopeful0109 

You've come to the right place. Living with a BPD parent is very draining indeed, I've experienced this too and it often does feel like nobody understands what you're going through. But like I said, you've come to the right place. A lot of people on here have also been raised by 1 or more BPD parents so a lot uf us can definitely relate to what you've been through and are still going through. It really helps being able to talk to people who fully understand where you're comming from.