Dealing with the dramatic physical complaints

[tigerlily66]

My BPDH is SO dramatic when he has an ache or pain! It will be hard to know when something is really serious, or if he's just crying wolf. Last week when he woke up, he said "I almost wrote a note to you before I went to bed, I thought for sure I was dying and wouldn't wake up, my neck and back hurt so bad".  He works 3rd shift, and gets very run down and over-tired, which I think are his complaints. Yesterday he had to spread a load of gravel on our driveway, and when I came home from work, he was sleeping until 11PM. We had planned to have a date night, but I'm used to these things and didn't get upset. He woke up and was apologetic, and asked me if I got his voicemail. I'm glad that one didn't go through somehow, he was apparently on there saying how he was dying and a wreck, etc. He said he had chills and felt awful. I'm a nurse, so I take these things with a grain of salt, I KNOW when someone is truly dying, etc. I don't even think he wants sympathy or anything like that, his brain really thinks he's dying! It"s actually becoming amusing to me< although I don't let him know that. I just validate his feelings and it runs its course. I just wondered if this is a BPD trait anyone else deals with?

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[momtara]

YES, I do.  And physical ailments were often how he manipulated me.  He'd cancel our plans to get back at me, and I'd complain in marriage therapy, and he'd say, "No, I canceled our plans because I was sick, and that's selfish of you to say that."  He used illness as an excuse for everything.  He did have some physical ailments, so it made it hard because he could rely on that to get out of anything. 

See this:  www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somatization

First read about it in a book about BPD.

The fact that my husband DOES have some physical ailments made it harder for me to prove or convince our shrink that he was being manipluative etc.  He really did need surgery at one point.  But this gave him license to use his ailments to get out of doing chores and other stuff.  It was just mindblowing.  If I said anything, I was the bad guy who wasn't being sensitive enough about his health problems.

He often also lied about things doctors said.

[Rockylove]

LOL  just posted about this very thing... .  big drama queen!  I realized recently that it's not just the emotions that he feels more intensely than anyone I know... .  it's also the physical. 

[bruceli]

... .  and their pain is always greater than yours no matter what... .  

[allibaba]

Mine has some real health problems... .  but he literally tells me that he is dying about once a week.  I think that emotionally he feels like he is dying and that translates into him believing that he is actually dying. 

My favorite was that he wouldn't go to the doctor because he was losing his eyesight from his terrible diseases.  HE FINALLY went to the eye doctor and guess what... .  he needed reading glasses.  He was in fact not going blind.

[RedRightAnkle]

I'm beginning to think so!

His back always hurts. His neck always hurts. His head always hurts. His knees will just give out on him for no reason and he'll just drop to the floor. He also will experience shortness of breath and suddenly clutch his chest and have to regain his breathing. He also twitches when he's frustrated, which he thinks there is some medical reason behind it (most likely not.)

He says he's been to the doctor in the past and he's always been fine. I'm seriously beginning to think he has some sort of somatoform thing going on. How can your knees go out when there is apparently nothing wrong with them? And how can your breath just suddenly catch with no respiratory problems? His mom thinks possibly he has asthma, but he's never been tested for it. It's just really frustrating because he complains about it all of the time and doesn't do anything about it. Also, he does tend to one-up me unless I'm really truly sick. Any pain though - his hurts worse.