The "fascinating" stories of everything that ever happened to them

[mary_sunshine]

Okay, maybe this is something that has nothing to do with the disorder, but my UBPDSO is under the impression that everything that has ever happened to him is somehow unique and riveting.  Let me preface this by saying, that he is, indeed, unique and a very colorful character, however, like everyone, most of the days of his life are really boring to hear about in excruciating detail, especially days that happened 10, 20, or 35 years ago, that often get repeated time and time again. Now, this man is very funny and can tell amazing anecdotes. He does not seem, however, to know the difference between a brief, entertaining recollection that has a beginning, an end, and a POINT to it, and endless, rambling accounts of things he did years ago with people who are not particularly interesting, and every line of dialogue they uttered, and the minutia of ordinary events before during and after... .  OMG! Our communication has suffered because I hesitate to ask him questions about people he mentions, because I fear having to sit through their entire boring life story and every encounter he has ever had with them! And if my focus wanders, if I yawn, if my eyes glaze over as they inevitably do, he gets extremely upset. In his defense, I would say he can be a good listener to me when he is in the right mood and if I have some burning desire to tell him something. But he rarely asks me any questions about my life or prompts me to tell about my life. But I tell things that had a particular impact on me or that I think relate to a topic or are just funny... .  NOT everything I ever did, saw, thought or said. NOBODY is THAT interesting! Can anyone here relate to this?

[whatathing]

Hi,

I relate to this and your other post also... .  my UBPDexgf talked a lot, was very self-centered, and with almost no reciprocity at all. She expressed her affection towards me in other ways, like giving me gifts, making me biscuits, and things like that, indirect gestures. But in the regular r/s things that we´re all used to, like just sitting still and enjoying looking at each other, or listening and understanding about both our personal issues, I don´t know, in normal things you´d expect from a gf, she was very absent. She also lost her motivation to be in the r/s when things should be growing to another level, and started getting anxious. She also didn´t like compliments, and wasn´t romantic at all. We would be in an incredible bar outside with a great view over the city at night, and she´d be playing games at her phone and saying "uh-huh... .  "

I think that the part in which they talk a lot about themselves and their life, is the narcissistic trait... .  

So yes, I relate to this a lot! Take care

[SoftLanding]

I can relate.  My uBPDbf tells me detailed stories of the last 30 years including sexual exploits in graphic detail.  Often I don't even react, because I don't really know how to.  He keeps saying he should write a book because it would sell like hot cakes.  He is a colorful character for sure, and while his stories are full of detail, I don't think the world would find them all that.  I guess it's a delusion of some sort.

[empathic]

Can relate to this. My wife likes to talk a lot, and her family is geared towards drama, which means we talk maybe 95% about what goes on in her life, or about issues within her family. It takes a lot of mental energy for me to keep up.

I have tried to work with the validation tools recently, particularly SET. It works to a certain degree, but when she starts going on about certain issues, it becomes very hard to even get the chance to validate.

[jedicloak]

Oh yeah! How many times have I heard the same stories - TO INFINITY AND BEYOND! Occasionally, I ask why it seems that she continually rehashes the SAME stories to me endlessly. Her response is because that was when she had things happen that were interesting (not particularly good) or noteworthy as opposed to now.

I'm not sure what to say to that.

[kauaikami]

Constant Chatter.  Yes.  And granted... .  some of the tales are very interesting and quite unique... .  being how he grew up on a small tropical island and living very close to the ocean and land his whole life does lend to some interesting stories.  I even have said, We need to document this! (as old hawai'i fades)

  It's the constant chattering over every other thing, real and usually, delusional, that drove me nuts.  well, one of the things that drove me bonkers.  I would actually say outloud "Constant Chatter" and that would clue him to shut the hell up----for a Minute.

But... .  I am sure, my BPD also has other issues (bipolar, schizoaffective, brain damage, drug use... .  I don't know)

And actually, I turned the computer on and jumped on this subject without seeing which list I am on.

I need to make sure I am on the LEAVING----cuz for all the HOT AIR, plus all the other complications,

I am getting off this merry-go-round-roller coaster nightmare.  I've tried to get off before, I've been trying to "work the process", but kept getting slung back on the ride.  Now I am sure I have escaped.