This is simply a malivestment of our precious resources

[Maryiscontrary]

It is interesting that when you read the BPD afflicted boards, they equally have horrifying accounts by the sufferers by the hands of the non. When we are under stress untended consequences often manefest.

This is simply a malivestment of our precious resource, and nothing else. You just simply place all of your giving and helping gifts into the right people, the payoff is priceless, and never squandered. That way, we are never depleted or unappreciated. It really is how you decide you are going to invest your emotional resource.

So there is no reason to feel bad, but there is an upside knowing that there are people out there who do appreciate you, and you have to cultivate more of these. For healthy people, being a person who has their  together is attractive, and you dont have to do any enabling, fixing, entertaining or any special display in order to feel validated.


and I would would add that if the behavior violates you boundaries, assert that, and if needed, leave the situation.

Just as maybeso says that it is abusive to control or monitor another person, this means you dont have to be around aggressive atrocious behavior as well. See, the exact problem arises when you choose to put up with the garbage. It is a fantasy to think you can fix a damaged person, so you put boundaries into place so that their issues dont affect you.

Do you see, it all in how you choose to invest your time.