Trouble letting go

[griz]

qcr: Mindful prayer, I like that idea but not sure if I know how to do that. Do you say specific prayers or do you just talk about what is in your heart? Do you mind sharing this with me?

Reality:  I should be sending you a copay, hope you take my insurance... . . I had a session with my T yesterday and that is exactly what we dicussed PTSD, and your explaination of being stuck on crisis mode fits perfectly.  Lately I have been having moments where I have flashbacks to instances of time that were horrific (DD being all cut up, dr. visits, etc).  I was starting to believe something was really wrong with me because I will have these moments sometimes out of no where.  This morning I was driving to work and I had a flashback of being in the P's office and I immediately started having an anxiety attack.  This was the first P that DD went to and it was horrible.  I don't know what triggered it.  I was driving along and all of a sudden it happened.  I used my mindfullness skill that they taught us in DBT and started taking mental notes of everything I was passing such as signs, trees and buildings.  It finally passed.  I will continue to work on this.

Griz

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Reality]

Hi again,

There is a very cool breathing pattern that is very helpful for me and you might like it.  It is the normal deep breath inhale and on the exhale, one forms the breath so that the exhale breath goes downwards, to the earth, gravity, reality.  In immense pain, I find this breath grounding.

The Jungians talk about eating one's own pain.  I think there is psychic danger in tossing out one's pain to the outside, sometimes.  Pain is also a cleanser of the soul.  It eliminates the dead, the over-with, the no-longer-true-or-real.  Maybe our cheery culture doesn't allow enough eating of one's own pain.  Maybe the monks of old understood the knowing of pain. The more I eat my own pain, the more I move into my own self. 

When you think of it, on some level, pwBPD understand this concept.  But they do go to the extreme. 

Reality

[vivekananda]

griz,

You are a kind, gentle, thoughtful loving person. Deeply sensitive and compassionate. You have permission to care for yourself too.

Viv     

[qcarolr]

qcr: Mindful prayer, I like that idea but not sure if I know how to do that. Do you say specific prayers or do you just talk about what is in your heart? Do you mind sharing this with me?

It is getting into a meditative place with God. I have been reading the bible more with my small group at church's help and support. It is owning my pain, breathing into it, feeling it, and then giving it up to God. That last is the hard part. I have stumbled across some passages in THE MESSAGE, a modern language transaltion of the bible, that really help me in this process. I have written them on 3x5 cards and read them before I begin this quiet time to listen. And my mind quiets and my worries float away as leaves on a small stream bubbling over rocks. Sometimes I visulize clouds and letting my worries float away on them.

The verses that have helped me the most are Philippians 4:6-7 (MSG)

   ":)on't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."

Sometimes I breath in a deep, gentle way and repeat that last sentence over and over until my mind falls into queitness.

Wisemind from a God perspective. I searched it out online and it appears in many places - put into our heart and minds with understanding. My favorite hebrew/greek words for this mindfulness are leb and lebab defined as heart, consider, mind, understanding... .  

Griz - thanks for asking. Search out what gives you a sense of peace and joy - and do it without thinking too much with your mind. Think with your heart.

qcr