exBPDgf texted me this morning after 2 weeks NC...

[WillSurvive420]

Maybe, im looking way too into it, but heres the deal... .  we broke up almost a month ago... .  she was in limbo 2 weeks after that... .  I hate you, but is still want you in my life... .  (we were still f'n at that point, but she still didnt consider "us" together... .  what a child.) anyway after i tried to be as nice and patient as i could with someone like that i blew up... .  (i have a nasty tempor as well, and when it comes out she gets frightened(i think))id never hit her or anything like that... .  just call her names that fit her like female dog. thats why she ended the relationship(claimed i was emotionally abusive bc i called her a b*tch when she was acting crazy. Anyway after the last argument, i went NC... .  

Shes slowly starting to "like" more and more stuff on my FB posts.( i blocked from seeing her posts bc she only posts about moving on and not fixing the pieces of the puzzle on the floor bla bla bla) i feel thats her friends thinking in combinatoin with her illness... .  Anyway, she dumped me coincidentally 2 days before my lisc. was suspended for 30 days... .  hmmm? what a coincky dink? so i posted two days ago, "6 more days... .  Thanks Jeebus." she was the only one that "liked" that post. i talked to my mom about why would she like that post? Why does she care when Ill be driving? My mom said maybe shes just empathetic that youve been stranded... .  I was like NO... .  BPDs dont have that kinda empathy... .  I think shes fantasizing me running back to her after i get my lisc. back? Oh, and then she sent me a text this morning... .  saying Don't Ever use my email. How dare you! I used her email to set up a stub hub account like over a year ago... .  so i didnt go into her email... . i just used her email to get into my stub hub account to buy tickets for a show i initially invited her to, but revoked the inviation bc shes a crazy loon. Thoughts?

[hithere]

She may just be keeping you warm on-the-side while she looks for someone else.

It sounds like you want her back?

[WillSurvive420]

i want the girl i fail in luv w... . not the hater.what do u mean by keeping u warm on the side?

[Lucky Jim]

Hi Willsurvive,

Wish you could read your own post with an objective eye, because from my perspective it doesn't sound worth pursuing.  Maybe you can ask yourself what you are really hoping to get out of this relationship, at this point?  Why not move on?

Lucky Jim

[WillSurvive420]

i know... .  im just trying to process her thought process and its driving me crazy... .  gotta stop thinking about her thinking patterns and think about my thinking patterns... .  i think my objective eye went out the window when i came down with a respiratory virus this past week, and wanted her comfort... .  but i realize that is unrealistic... .  and that she is POISON, DANGER, TOXIC... .  her family is a disaster... .  why i still want to save someone who keeps jumping ship?

[cska]

i want the girl i fail in luv w... . not the hater.

Don't we all? I miss the girl I met... . The kind, caring girl who wanted to marry me... . Where did she go? Those memories make my heart cringe with agony. I hate BPD. It took something from me... .

[paperlung]

i want the girl i fail in luv w... . not the hater.

Don't we all? I miss the girl I met... . The kind, caring girl who wanted to marry me... . Where did she go? Those memories make my heart cringe with agony. I hate BPD. It took something from me... .

I miss the girl I originally fell in love with, too. But she's gone now, both figuratively and literally. I don't even know now if she ever was real, sadly.

[WillSurvive420]

just bc the r/s didnt end up being "true love"  doesnt mean there wasnt "true love" at the beginning... .  i really do believe she was in love with me at a time... .  not sure when that changed her, but it did. Just bc their love wasnt authentic doesnt mean that the love we gave them WASNT authentic... .  it sucks loving someone who doesnt love you back... .  its heartwrenching... .  BPDs are cowards. They use this defense mechanism bc they are weak people... . SOCIAL DARWINISM weeding out the weak links. Good ridden... .  these types of ppl need to be weeded out ASAP.

[Lucky Jim]

Hello again, Willsurvive,

I recently came across a quote from a novel that I like:

"For the first time he really felt that it was no use trying to save those who fundamentally would rather not be saved."

In my view, this is more or less the problem with those suffering from BPD; on some level, very few actually want to make changes or get help.

Thanks to all,

LJ