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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Re-framing with Humor  (Read 458 times)
Buzz77

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
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« on: May 12, 2013, 07:37:39 PM »

lately when I have recounted wild anecdotes from my rltp. w/ my ex; friends react in two ways... .  either sympathetic shocked laughter or plain aghast... .   

Admittedly, I'm a funny storyteller, but I know many of these shocked reactions are aimed at the absurdity of my behavior, that I put up w/ such dramatic, unpredictable behavior... .  

Nonetheless, I think humor is a healthy way to re-frame and begin processing, i.e. looking at myself... .  I'd recommend it. 
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hithere
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« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2013, 03:54:50 PM »

have had the same reaction a few times, the stuff that she did and I put up with was just so wacky... .  but in truth I have often caught a look of pity from people, so I try not to recount many stories anymore.  Some things are better left in the past.
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leftbehind
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« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2013, 05:17:17 PM »

for me it's too soon to laugh about it, but maybe someday... .  
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GreenMango
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2013, 07:42:36 PM »

Any kind of reframing helped me.  Humor for sure, also looking at the lesson or positive that came out of it. Smiling (click to insert in post)
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