Need to file motion of custody change due to PAS, anyone have a sample to share?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi,

About a month ago my S14 sent me a text that he wasn't going to live with me anymore. I've got our arbitrator to refer us back to a therapist specializing in parental alienation and she's met with S14, me and mom today. All separately. When I met with the T she told me to keep it under wraps, but that she got the PAS and had to interview mom, but I should get my ducks in a row.

She is going to report back that the option is to leave S14 in the abusive relationship, or change full custody to me, with a plan to use family bridges or a similar program to de program S14.

I'm assuming this type of process is not totally uncommon and that a motion of change will need such things as restraining orders and police enforcement clauses in addition to the full change of custody to ensure reduced conflict from mom.

Has anyone else filed a motion like this?

Thanks!

[PDrUs]

Hi,

About a month ago my S14 sent me a text that he wasn't going to live with me anymore. I've got our arbitrator to refer us back to a therapist specializing in parental alienation and she's met with S14, me and mom today. All separately. When I met with the T she told me to keep it under wraps, but that she got the PAS and had to interview mom, but I should get my ducks in a row.

She is going to report back that the option is to leave S14 in the abusive relationship, or change full custody to me, with a plan to use family bridges or a similar program to de program S14.

I'm assuming this type of process is not totally uncommon and that a motion of change will need such things as restraining orders and police enforcement clauses in addition to the full change of custody to ensure reduced conflict from mom.

Has anyone else filed a motion like this?

Thanks!

[marbleloser]

Hopefully someone can answer this for you.I was under the impression that courts(in the US) don't take PAS very seriously unfortunately.

[Dragonfly_girl]

I am sorry to read this update. Perhaps this is why drove me back here today since I haven't been around months. Pm me.

[Waddams]

Generally speaking, a change in custody motion needs to show that the child in question is being harmed by his present circumstances.  I know most laws are written to be vaguer than that, but at least in my jurisdiction, you need to show that if the child remains where he/she is, he/she will be harmed.  Then, you also need to show further how you are better than the other parent AND how you will fix what is wrong AND that you have the means to do so.  Basically, show a plan for what you will do as the new custodial parent.  Prove your fitness for the task and prove that the child will not only be better off with you, but will also have the harmful situation corrected.

Here, you also have to make special effort to show that you are also not just being retaliatory or vindictive with the court case you have filed, and that the court case is not just another battlefield between warring ex-'s. 

And you need strong documentation for each part.  Is your T a Ph.d?  The judges here won't listen to any expert witness in these matters unless the expert answers to the name of ":)octor".  They also tend to give more weight to their favorite lawyers.

I'd see if there are resources available to find the lawyers that are best connected with the judges, and also the best respected custody evaluators, psychiartiests, etc. that do expert witness work for the court.  Go in with faces on your side that the judges know and like and respect already.  Here, I've found a few father's rights groups that I was able to glean that sort of information from.  There has to be some way of doing that in your jurisdiction. 

[ForeverDad]

I believe Richard Warshak's latest version of Divorce Poison describes Family Bridges in the final chapters.

As for legal phrases to use or avoid, if your court is unwilling to accept "PAS" it might be best to avoid the trigger phrase "parental alienation syndrome" or at least put the most focus instead on the effect or situation as "alienated parent" by whatever cause.

Also, make sure that whatever court order terms you seek will satisfy the admittance criteria of the workshop you hope to use.

[PDrUs]

Generally speaking, a change in custody motion needs to show that the child in question is being harmed by his present circumstances.  I know most laws are written to be vaguer than that, but at least in my jurisdiction, you need to show that if the child remains where he/she is, he/she will be harmed.  Then, you also need to show further how you are better than the other parent AND how you will fix what is wrong AND that you have the means to do so.  Basically, show a plan for what you will do as the new custodial parent.  Prove your fitness for the task and prove that the child will not only be better off with you, but will also have the harmful situation corrected.

Here, you also have to make special effort to show that you are also not just being retaliatory or vindictive with the court case you have filed, and that the court case is not just another battlefield between warring ex-'s. 

And you need strong documentation for each part.  Is your T a Ph.d?  The judges here won't listen to any expert witness in these matters unless the expert answers to the name of ":)octor".  They also tend to give more weight to their favorite lawyers.

I'd see if there are resources available to find the lawyers that are best connected with the judges, and also the best respected custody evaluators, psychiartiests, etc. that do expert witness work for the court.  Go in with faces on your side that the judges know and like and respect already.  Here, I've found a few father's rights groups that I was able to glean that sort of information from.  There has to be some way of doing that in your jurisdiction. 

Thanks for the input, this is the stuff I need to know. The experts are Doctors, there are a bunch now. The lawyers are known to the arbitrator. The arbitrator sent this back to the therapist who specializes in PAS. She the therapist also sees it as abuse. The CE is well respected. My motivation is and has always been for the children's best interest. No problems there. I think I see the points you are making and will focus on the plan more.

Up till now I've been focused on getting the PAS recognized. I think this is clear to everyone now.

The arbitrator, CE and therapist are sounding like extracts from divorce poison at this point.

Thank you!

[livednlearned]

My understanding is that PAS is not recognized as a legitimate syndrome, but parental alienation as a behavior is something many courts take seriously, especially with expert witnesses who vouch for it. As in, PAS does not fit a DSM diagnosis (can't get clinicians to agree that it meets the same criteria as other syndromes, defined in the most narrow sense), but I believe there is case law for PA, isn't there? Parental alienation is taken seriously in my court. It sounds like yours is one of them? Can you ask you L about how many cases he/she has handled like this, or about case law in your court?

[PDrUs]

Thanks for the response.

We have an arbitrator looking at the case, so we aren't in a court room scenario. I think this helps me as he, the arbitrator, gets to better know us. In court you get a randomly assigned judge.

The arbitrator met with our son and decided he needed more information about the situation so he sent us to a therapist that is very experienced in PAS. She specializes in these types of family dynamics.

I get that its not a recognized DSM syndrome, but the Therapist is an expert in this problem and admitted she sees it as abuse by the parent that is alienating.

I understand the burden is on me to document the damage to S14 from the behaviour, prove that I have a plan that will resolve and correct the damage and that I have the means and support in place to do just that.

I was hoping that someone else on the boards that has actually filed a motion like this might be able to provide a framework, sample or template for a filing that has been successful!