Hi there folks. I will try to keep this brief though I suspect it may end up being a longer post.
I haven't been able to tease out if my father would be considered BPD, or if he just carries loads of fleas from having been raised by a mother wBPD and raising his own daughter with BPD. In either case, he seems to have attachment issues (over attached or totally detached) as well as this 'out of sight, out of mind' mentality. he's once told me he doesn't think about anyone from home while he's away.
all that being said, he is currently working about 4000kms away from home. He had just returned home for a brief visit, things went ok though he was keyed up for most of the visit. he had told myself and my mother that he has made many friends while away at work, and that there's a couple of women he sometimes has dinner with but that they are well aware of his marriage and realize it is just friendly companionship.
while he was home for the week, he had me upgrade his mobile phone to a newer model and as I was updating his contacts I saw a few text messages that I found uncomfortable. to be completely fair, I should not have read them. but I did.
one of these women's teenage daughter had a birthday, and my father gave her $50 in a card. this woman was thanking my father via text and it said 'you are so cute. thank you for being so generous. you are such a sweetheart'. (mind you these people are in their 50s/60s and I found the language choices nauseating). he replied with 'you are all of that yourself. have a great day'.
the following week they were trying to arrange plans to meet for dinner, she said she had to be home by 8, so let's meet at the restaurant around 6:30. anyway, the plans fell through and she said 'well no worries, we will make it work. you are important to me' he replied 'you are important to me as well, we will reschedule'
OK - so my real issue is: this is all none of my business and I should not have read those texts anyway. he told my mother that he has female friends he sees for dinner occasionally and that this is just some company to get away from the construction work he does for long hours while away from home. I don't feel I should tell my mother this at this point in time ... . do people that's the right decision? and also, how do I clear this out of my head? I keep thinking about this issue when I don't want to be.
and please, if anyone feels I've read way too much into this, please point that out! growing up with BPD all around me, I have the tendency to over-analyze
