Exactly one year ago i became aware of my then wife's BPD. In early June we had a successful mediation and we got divorced. Our mediator was a retired and prominent judge. Towards the end of mediation he asked me with a disgusted expression on his face:"Why did you marry her?". I told him that i had my matching daemons that lead me into marrying her. My lawyer thought that it was i fair answer.
My last communication with het was when i told her in a very short email that i new about her and my replacement who by the way was her colleague who i knew very well. This was in early May 2012. Since then she tried to call me and email me. I have not answered her phone calls, emails. I never read her emails and i deleted voice mails without listening to them. I will continue to have zero contact with her for the rest of my life. I have no problem with NC.
Few months after divorce i totally quit reading about BPD and participating ob BPD forums. That was part of my recovery. One year anniversary of these very unpleasant events triggered my somewhat and brought some anger and sadness again. I realized yet again but now with more clarity and less anger and sadness that marriage was doomed the moment we met and i could do nothing about it! In case of BPD love does not move mountains.
We tried to reconcile, i worked on my self and made a good progress. She admitted to it. However, that is exactly what pwBPD do not want. They do not want healthy people because then for sure you will abandon them. That is the crazy part. You cannot win. As the experts here point out: Disorder will win at the end.
I started dating recently and it is scary. A couple of girls may have BPD. They sort of admitted it. I cut them off. Finding a healthy person is still a new thing for me. If i can chose one word to be a lesson for me it is Boundaries. I watch for boundaries in people and i am trying improve mine. I am work in progress and will be for the rest of my life.
The battery on my iPad is low
You all have a great day!
