Although my BPDex has been out of my life for a while now, and I'm a good deal down the road of detachment & healing, I do sometimes for various reasons lurk at the "Staying" and the "Undecided" boards here.
What I've noticed on those 2 boards is a lot of struggle, pain, turmoil, frustration, confusion, etc.
Seems many there are trying to make it work (or are questioning whether it can even work at all)-- but have a good deal of trouble doing so, despite their efforts & good intentions. I do feel for them, pray for them, & wish them all the luck.
It goes to show how brutal, taxing & unfortunate the disorder can be, I think. And how much it can affect those closest to a pwBPD, taking a great toll in all kinds of ways.
I believe those boards, for those here on this one, can remind us what we went through, ourselves. Of where we've been at different stages in our own lives & relationships.
It can also help remind us here that perhaps moving on is truly best for us as individuals. That we tried our best, maybe even going above & beyond. That we are not failures. And that although we may have our own issues (who doesn't!
), we've come to realize that BPD is a mental illness.
Again: BPD is a mental illness.
In the end, we could only do so much. We could not change them, fix them, rescue them, or pretend they were somebody else who we wished they would be.
In the end, we needed to protect ourselves psychologically, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, etc.
And although it may not seem like it at times, it is most definitely worth it.
