New here. Father with BPD. Ended up with Crohn's disease and Bipolar disorder

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi to everyone

I am new here today and wondered whether anyone else on here has internalised all the problems of growing up in a BPD household and ended up with an auto immune disorder and mental issues of their own?

[jules23958]

Hi to everyone

I am new here today and wondered whether anyone else on here has internalised all the problems of growing up in a BPD household and ended up with an auto immune disorder and mental issues of their own?

[ScarletOlive]

Hi jules23958,

Glad you're here, but sorry you're struggling. It must be tough juggling life, family, and illness. I grew up with a mother with BPD, and there are many others here who have family members with BPD. Many of us suffer from our own issues related to the abuse-anxiety, depression, etc. You're not alone here.

There's a lot of info here to help you out too. You might find these links helpful as you get started here:

Video-What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Workshop - BPD: Problematic mothering/parenting

If you can share more about your situation when you get comfortable here we'd love to hear. What you would like to get out of your time here with us? I know you'll fit here. Keep posting and sharing. Sending you much caring and support. 

[jules23958]

Hi

I am pleased to find this site.

I am 54 years of age and an only child. My father shows many of the traits of this disorder and with hindsight I am convinced my mother is co dependant.

When I was growing upnmy father had really bad rows with my mother and a couple of times she left him to go back to her parents. He is eight years older than her and always insisted he was righr.

My parents both worked and my grandmother raised me until I was 13 when my parents relocated through my fathers job down to London. Within a month she died and I became ill with Crohns disease.

I can remember when my father came hime akways being sent to my room until my mother could predict what sort of mood he was in. His temper was vitriolic and as a child scared me rigid. It was nothing for him to storm into my room and rip posters off the wall or pull the bedsheets off me in the middle of the night because I had to go downstairs and listen to his rants. Noone else was allowed to talk. He also was brilliant at the silent treatment which went on fir days and was a constant visitor in my teenage years when my mother wasnt allowed to speak or do anything for me either.

When I waa in hospital my crohns consultant actually prevented my father from seeing me and I was put on hefty doses of valium because of the effect he had on me.

As I have grown up there have been periodic months and years when I was given the silebt tratment again but nowadys I restrict my visits to thwm to overnight only so he doesnt get too tired of us and I normally go with my children so he is temporarily distracted.

He has throughout his life gradually ostrasised the whole family and he doesnt speak to any of his 3siblings and my son is the current bad boy.

My mother has also had to sever her ties with her family.

He was sent for therapy once but didnt even get through the session as he called the woman a witch and stated that she was talking all about sex to him!

As a result I can identify that I have made poor relationships first with a man who was codependent on his mother and very weak and then in my second marriage to someone who has aspbergers.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in February 2010 aftwr years of severe depression which led to a very mad period when I completely went off the rails sexually and after my divorce spent my half of the money and ended up in debt eventually going bankrupt.

I am on a fairly even keel now so long as I dont overdo things and I am gradually finding the peace I have been looking for.

I think I could write a book on how it feels to have a parent with this condition together with rhe fallout but I just wanted to say thank you for letting me on this site.

[heartandwhole]

 

Hi jules23958,

I'm glad you reached out to us, welcome to bpdfamily.  I'm sorry that you went through so much growing up, having to deal with your father and also being ill yourself.  That must have been a very, very difficult time.  I'm happy to hear that you are slowly finding the peace you have been looking for - that sounds wonderful.

You will find people here who also have parents with BPD- you are not alone.  Things can get better.  We have lots of tools and support to help, and we welcome you to share what has helped and worked for you, too.

What is your relationship with your father like today?  How old is your son?  Do you have friends and family, or a therapist, who support you?

Here is a link that you may find helpful: Acceptance, when our parent has BPD

Keep posting and let us know how we can support you.

heartandwhole