BPD Help With EX GF

[NeedHelp2013]

Hi there,

It really is amazing that so many people have the same reactions I have with had with my ex GF. The feeling that you are a stranger to them after putting so much into the relationship.  Loving them to the Nth degree only to be treated and scolded by them with textual verbal abuse.  Empathy and Compassion disappear when you are on the other side of them.  They forget who you are, they forget the wonderful things you have done for them.  You are just a bad person. 

Whether imagined or not, the reality is these people create their own vision of what they consider normal.  You as their partner become a one way sounding board that takes abuse like a trooper.  My Ex even warned me about the mood swings, but no warning can prepare you for being called every swear word under the sun.

I let some people read a transcript from our texting and their jaw dropped.  How can this be the same person they say?  It's incredible. 

I need help to just feel good about myself again.  I have God in my life and that has helped out tremendously.

If there are other men who have suffered with BPD women in relationships out there, I'd like to talk to you.  I just want to understand how to move past this relationship and look for a healthy one again.

Thanks for this site

[Mark2430]

As hard as it will be, you are making a decision that is in the best interest of you and your own health... . It will be difficult in the short term and there will always be moments that you will miss her after all you loved her, but the reality is they don't love us in the same way we love them... . Everytime I have started to miss my ex I write a letter to explaining to her how much I care and then I make sure I write about all the things that hurt me and were just absolute crap... . And I never send it but I go back and keep reading it and when I read it to myself I always think "you made the right decision to move on" and then I delete the letter and I keep repeating the process I am 6 weeks NC right now and I haven't felt like writing a letter at all this week, and it seems to get easier, I think it's easier sometimes to try and look at yourself and her as a seperate couple and almost like you are watching through a window, does it look like a healthy relationship... . You can see from these boards long term is almost impossible ... . Luckily we all have each other for support... . Hang in there