Spotting dysfunction all around

[changingme]

I am very keen, in tune and observant to people and their behaviors (including my own).  I feel that my experiences dealing with a pwBPD has intensified the part of me of seeing the negative behaviors and dysfunctions of people around me.  I do see people as good and I truly like people, but I see things they do and find myself asking a lot  "why do they do things this way".  I find myself analyzing their (and my own) behaviors way too often searching for the root and reasons of what makes this person this way.  I am exhausted from it and I am trying to figure out how to shut it off! How to redirect my thoughts so I don't let these things constantly get to me or hurt me (if it is people I am closer with) or consume me.  How to just let them be as is.  I feel it is a gift and a curse.  The gift is I can figure people out; the curse is I can't stop figuring people out.  Same goes for myself; how to stop being such a tough critic to my behaviors and actions.

[Maryiscontrary]

There are stories of optic surgeries being performed to the blind, and the sudden onslaught of light color, and form is painful and overwhelming. It takes a while for the brain to habituate, or adjust to the stimuli.

Do you think this relates? Do you think that your brain will adjust, just like the blind person?

[babyducks]

I am very keen, in tune and observant to people and their behaviors (including my own).  I feel that my experiences dealing with a pwBPD has intensified the part of me of seeing the negative behaviors and dysfunctions of people around me.  I do see people as good and I truly like people, but I see things they do and find myself asking a lot  "why do they do things this way".  I find myself analyzing their (and my own) behaviors way too often searching for the root and reasons of what makes this person this way.  I am exhausted from it and I am trying to figure out how to shut it off! How to redirect my thoughts so I don't let these things constantly get to me or hurt me (if it is people I am closer with) or consume me.  How to just let them be as is.  I feel it is a gift and a curse.  The gift is I can figure people out; the curse is I can't stop figuring people out.  Same goes for myself; how to stop being such a tough critic to my behaviors and actions.

Changingtimes,

A couple of thoughts,  my therapist warned me that I might be suffering some mild symptoms of post traumatic stress after leaving my relationship which had elements of emotional abuse.  Google post traumatic stress and abusive relationships.  I had/have that hyper vigilant need to analyze.  Part of it is protective,  the end result of putting myself in a place where my emotions and my physical self weren't safe.

I haven't had much success at thought stopping when the thoughts run away with me.   The suggestion is that you create a mental image that works for you to stop the thoughts.  My image is baseball related.  I stop, close my eyes and think of batting practice and each one of the unwanted thoughts is a baseball that I am hitting out into the field where no outfielder picks them up.  Sometimes that works for me, sometimes it doesn't.

I have had more success with redirecting the thoughts into a more positive avenue.  I am a religious girl so I tend to offer up a small prayer when I am over thinking.  Something short, no more than 10 words, something that I can repeat as a mantra.   Sometimes it is something I picked up on this website like "I bless you,  I thank you,  I release you".   

And then I work on being gentle with me and go get some physical exercise.

BabyDucks

[changingme]

babyducks,

I do know what PTSD and that thought has crossed my mind.  I should be in therapy but I can't right now for several reasons. I have been trying to take care of myself other ways and it has definitely helped with everything else, but yes I am still struggling with shutting off my mind to the over analyzing part. 

I will try your mental image suggestions.

There are stories of optic surgeries being performed to the blind, and the sudden onslaught of light color, and form is painful and overwhelming. It takes a while for the brain to habituate, or adjust to the stimuli.

Do you think this relates? Do you think that your brain will adjust, just like the blind person?

I'm not sure if this is something that just shuts off and adjusts.  I do think you have to do the work.  I have tried different avenues (deep breathing, meditation) but I will try more of the thought stopping suggestion.

Thanks!