Newbie

[zubizou87]

Hello Guys!

I'm a young woman from America with an undiagnosed borderline mother, I'm trying to live a life that is distanced from her emotionally so I can embrace some more emotionally healthy and loving relationships with friends and relatives.

I'm so glad this place exists!

[Vindi]

 *welcome*you came to the right place. And you made a huge step by posting here.

There is a section (L5) in regards to dealing with parents w/BPD.

Please keep posting, it truly helps.

[heartandwhole]

 

Hi zubizou87,

I'm glad you found us.  This is a great place for support and understanding and things can get better for you.  We have lots of wonderful members who have experienced similar situations (parent with BPD) and we also have lots of tools which can help.

What is your relationship with your mother like now?  What kind of contact do you have?

Here is a link that might be helpful for you right now: Children of BPD Parents: Reclaiming Our Lost Selves

Please keep writing, and let us know how we can support you.  We care. 

heartandwhole

[zubizou87]

Thanks for the warm welcome! 

To answer your question I am in a sort of long distance e-mail focused relationship with my mother, I find this really effective because she's very nice to me when we are writing to each other and she's more careful what she says. During holidays I've learned that it's best to stay a couple of days and then have somewhere else to go incase she turns nasty. Now that I'm older I can use the excuse that I'm too old to live at home when she tries to lure me back in.

So in short I've made myself a family of good friends, some of whom are several decades older than me which is useful when I need some sane 'mummy' advice. I'm also completely financially independent and hoping to buy my first house in the next couple of years. I'm feeling very hopeful and happy about the future and I know that finding out my mother has this has been really healing, I no longer feel helpless or empty inside. I just hope I can continue to heal and find out who I really am or what to do with my life.

[heartandwhole]

Hi again zubizou87,

I have no doubt that your future is looking bright    You sound like you are taking good care of yourself, which is so important in these types of relationships.  I'm glad that you have a good support system. 

I invite you to come onto the [L5]  Coping and Healing from a BPD Parent, Sibling, or Inlaw Board  and post your feelings, questions, and your own insights.  You will find members there who really understand what you are going through with your mother.

Welcome to the family!

heartandwhole