Unexpectedly angry

[Depression = 72% of members]

I'm talking about me.  I'm feeling kinda angry about uBPDh.

Just a week ago he was all dysregulated, left home for 2 days, all triggered by planning a vacation which I wanted at a particular time but apparently he didn't think was a good time in the first place (but never told me- typical).  Okay.  So I won't get the vacation.  I have already applied for my leave at work and everything, and even though it's a few months away, I may not be able to cancel it.  Even if I could, there's no guarantee that my boss would let me take it some other time.  Of course, H doesn't care and last week he insisted I would be able to cancel the leave.  Funny because he does not work at my office so how would he know how things work here?  (I realise I sound bitter and angry, this is because I am bitter and angry and annoyed, and I can never say things like that at home, so I come here to rant a bit.  Sorry  )

And this week he keeps on sending me stuff about travelling.  Duh?  Come on, I was all happy about the vacation I was planning, then I get called insensitive and selfish, so now we're not booking anything (and I'm probably wasting 5 previous days of leave at work, which means my boss may not let me take a vacation anytime close to that if I can't cancel the leave), and he keeps sending me information about packages?  Give me a break.  He said he isn't ok to go at the time we agreed on, and yet he doesn't give me alternative dates which he would be ok to go.  I've had enough of planning imaginary holidays already; I would quite like him to quit rubbing salt on my wound.  And I'm not about to go suggesting holidays again if he doesn't suggest a date; him not being dysregulated will be enough for me for now.

Sorry for sounding like a whiny person.  The fact is I'm disappointed and sad at the moment.  Hope it goes away in a bit.

[Chosen]

I'm talking about me.  I'm feeling kinda angry about uBPDh.

Just a week ago he was all dysregulated, left home for 2 days, all triggered by planning a vacation which I wanted at a particular time but apparently he didn't think was a good time in the first place (but never told me- typical).  Okay.  So I won't get the vacation.  I have already applied for my leave at work and everything, and even though it's a few months away, I may not be able to cancel it.  Even if I could, there's no guarantee that my boss would let me take it some other time.  Of course, H doesn't care and last week he insisted I would be able to cancel the leave.  Funny because he does not work at my office so how would he know how things work here?  (I realise I sound bitter and angry, this is because I am bitter and angry and annoyed, and I can never say things like that at home, so I come here to rant a bit.  Sorry  )

And this week he keeps on sending me stuff about travelling.  Duh?  Come on, I was all happy about the vacation I was planning, then I get called insensitive and selfish, so now we're not booking anything (and I'm probably wasting 5 previous days of leave at work, which means my boss may not let me take a vacation anytime close to that if I can't cancel the leave), and he keeps sending me information about packages?  Give me a break.  He said he isn't ok to go at the time we agreed on, and yet he doesn't give me alternative dates which he would be ok to go.  I've had enough of planning imaginary holidays already; I would quite like him to quit rubbing salt on my wound.  And I'm not about to go suggesting holidays again if he doesn't suggest a date; him not being dysregulated will be enough for me for now.

Sorry for sounding like a whiny person.  The fact is I'm disappointed and sad at the moment.  Hope it goes away in a bit.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[united for now]

And what tools have you been using to work through this communication?

[iluminati]

He's made it clear that he doesn't want to go.  At this point, it's academic as to his reasons.  I would just go for myself, knowing that there's a resulting fallout.  Odd as his behavior is, you can't make him want to go on vacation.  Just acknowledge his immaturity, then go from there as you would see fit.

[Blazing Star]

How frustrating and disappointing! No wonder you are angry! Anger can be useful, and help you to get in touch with your power.

So you don't think you will be able to cancel the leave, does that mean you will loose the days? Why not just take the days anyway? And do things for YOU? Have a spa day, do a day in the grass on a blanket reading books, snacking on cheese and grapes, be a tourist for a day, go to a matinee, take yourself out for lunch or a glass of wine and people watch.

Either you tell your H that you are taking the days anyway, or remind him if he asks, that you couldn't cancel the leave.

Love Blazing Star