uBPDw in major depression of loss of control of sons life

[byfaith]

do pwBPD need to control others, not just their partner? This is so complicated. My uBPDw has a son who lives with us he is late 20's. He had paranoid schizophrenia. She will not "live" a life because her son does not want a life. She has stayed in a depression for over 2 months dark house, isolated from most everyone. The triggers with me didn't help. She has a brother who is a drug addict the fact that she lost control to fix his problem kept her in a depression. He is now in jail for a while. My son lives with us he is 18 and I think silently this atmosphere is hurting him.

My wife and I are finally going to begin going to meetings for support on the Schiz. which is a good first step. She may find out things about her self to help her cope better. I just hope that her son agrees to get help also.

It seems that my uBPDw keeps people out of her life or distanced that she has no ability to have "control" over. is this a trait? I'm just trying to understand all of this

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