Had a moment

[Sharkey167]

It's been nearly ten months. I have been doing pretty well. NC and all that. But I just had a moment where I thought of her (triggered by a song) and just bawled like a baby. Despite everything I've learned and everything I know the "why" question just kept coming up. Not why did things not work out, not why did she do XYZ, more why did she have to be stricken with this  :'(

I know my decision was for the best but God I really did love her and I know she loved me. It was just a moment and it passed but I had no one to vent it to so I shared with you guys. Anyone else still have those moments of pain despite the passage of time?

[Mr Bean]

I think its normal since we gave our unconditional love to her. I have been nc for 3 months but still remembers her sometimes. When i remember her, i just remind myself she has this condition called BPD. Even if i stayed with her, i would still need to break it up. Its a matter of when. I am pretty sure in months or even years to come, i would still remember her. And we were in long distance relationship but i still miss her so much

[leftbehind]

I miss mine too, even though I just found out yesterday about a bunch of lies he told me.

You can't turn love on and off if you're not BPD yourself.  It's okay, let yourself feel your feelings.  That way they'll move through you like a wave.  Think of it like riding a surfboard - the wave is finite. It's better than stuffing them down.  Sending you love

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Sharkey, I think it's normal to recall the good times with regret, yet don't forget about the bad times.  I think there is a tendency to idealize relationships (BPD or otherwise) after the fact.  Overall, I recall my uBPDexW as a person who was predominantly angry and capable of flying off the handle at a moment's notice.  Sure, we had some fantastic times together, yet the chaos and turbulence was exhausting and debilitating for me.  I ended up with no gas left in my personal tank, which is not fun, but can happen when you don't take care of yourself in the throes of a BPD relationship.  Hang in, LuckyJim