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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Still no contact and it's a beautiful thing  (Read 1118 times)
IwentWithMyInstincts

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 16
« on: June 04, 2013, 02:58:28 PM »
Two weeks ago I left "Randy" and I can tell you I'm doing great!  Smiling (click to insert in post) Despite finding out he completely lied to his daughter (who, in turn, posted on Twitter that ":)runk Dad kicked his girlfriend out," I didn't let it phase me. I fully anticipated a twisting of the facts yet here I am happy and free of the drama, rages, lies and chaos.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

I went for my morning run today and just felt SO incredibly exhilarated! I don't miss him at ALL, but I DO miss his poor Golden Retriever Tank, that I SERIOUSLY considered taking with me given he's often ignored  :'(

I'm traveling back this weekend to take my things out of the storage unit I rented, but please... . do not worry that I will even contemplate stopping by the house! (I'd rather have my spleen removed with a rusty scalpel!) I have adhered to the "NO CONTACT" rule and plan to continue respecting my decision to do so.

For all of you who are struggling, consider your struggle a test of your own inner strength and discipline. We all learn at a young age that putting your hand on a hot stove will result in pain. So just don't even GO there!

(Even if you're armed with oven mitts!)

Hugs to you all! 

Ms M
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Validation78
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 1398
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2013, 03:07:11 PM »
Dear Ms M!

Good for you! I applaud you and wish you peace and love on your healing journey. This is just the beginning, and you have much to look forward to!

Best Wishes,

Val78
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Lucky Jim
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 6211
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2013, 03:15:06 PM »
Hi Ms. M, It sounds like you are on a good track.  If I could add one note of caution, I think you might anticipate that you will hear from your Ex, so you might want to prepare yourself for that possibility.  Forewarned is forearmed!  Those w/BPD are quite persistent and clinging, due to the fear of abandonment, so it would be pretty typical for him to try to get in touch again.

Good luck, LuckyJim
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    A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
Louise7777
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 515
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2013, 03:22:47 PM »
Hey Ms M!

Congratulations! You are a rolemodel for us, who get stuck and cant heal... . Its nice to read a positive story from time to time. I was so down yesterday! Your post came in the right time for me.

Wish you the best of luck! 
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IwentWithMyInstincts

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Posts: 16
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2013, 03:26:57 PM »
Jim? I completely appreciate your concern, but have to tell you not to worry, please Smiling (click to insert in post)

If he manages to circumvent EVERY block I've put into place to curtail contact via phone or email? I'll eat my running shoes! Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)! I covered every base and he's not at ALL computer savvy, so I'm not worried. He doesn't possess the intestinal fortitude to even try, but if he WAS stupid enough to ever HIRE someone to find me and showed up at my home? He'd find himself looking down the barrel of my Italian-made "friend!"  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Ms M.
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Lucky Jim
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 6211
« Reply #5 on: June 06, 2013, 01:50:38 PM »
Sounds like you are way ahead of me, M, and have your boundaries in place!  Nice work!  LuckyJim
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    A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
ZigofZag
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Relationship status: Married & Living apart
Posts: 113
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2013, 02:08:53 PM »
Quote from: IwentWithMyInstincts on June 04, 2013, 02:58:28 PM
Two weeks ago I left "Randy" and I can tell you I'm doing great!  Smiling (click to insert in post) Despite finding out he completely lied to his daughter (who, in turn, posted on Twitter that ":)runk Dad kicked his girlfriend out," I didn't let it phase me. I fully anticipated a twisting of the facts yet here I am happy and free of the drama, rages, lies and chaos.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

I went for my morning run today and just felt SO incredibly exhilarated! I don't miss him at ALL, but I DO miss his poor Golden Retriever Tank, that I SERIOUSLY considered taking with me given he's often ignored  :'(

I'm traveling back this weekend to take my things out of the storage unit I rented, but please... . do not worry that I will even contemplate stopping by the house! (I'd rather have my spleen removed with a rusty scalpel!) I have adhered to the "NO CONTACT" rule and plan to continue respecting my decision to do so.

For all of you who are struggling, consider your struggle a test of your own inner strength and discipline. We all learn at a young age that putting your hand on a hot stove will result in pain. So just don't even GO there!

(Even if you're armed with oven mitts!)

Hugs to you all! 

Ms M

Thanks for this post. It has done my soul good. I am having doubts and dark days still but all in all am also feeling liberated.

Stay strong and happy
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