Even though you can have them, you'll end up losing yourself

[tobeme]

Divorce has been final from uBPD ex-wife for a few months but i still greive the death of marriage (16 yrs).  During divorce process i was good at NC for 10 months. After we signed divorce settlement, we recycled.  Of course we live seperately but we were back at it (sex) for 6 months recycle.

The 6 months went through another full cycle of BPD - to her finally raging at me then "I abondoned her all over again".

Our son graduated high school and will soon be adult aged. I just turned 38 and had enough of her (i've been with her since high school). I put her into FINAL NC and it's been about a month so far so good.

She still texts and calls at random hours. I only answered her call once and what a mistake it was - set me back.  I don't respond to her texts but i still read them.

It's hard to let go of the one one you love even though you can have them, you'll end up losing yourself

[seeking balance]

It's hard to let go of the one one you love even though you can have them, you'll end up losing yourself

There is nothing easy about a divorce, BPD or not.  Sounds like you have been with her most of your adult life, as such, please give yourself the time necessary to really grieve.

Take good care,

SB